Coming Home to Timothy
by
Robin Hall
Saturday the twenty sixth of February was the day. The nice small city of Timothy was excited. The clean streets were swept once more. The decorations and banners were hung. Tim, as the old timers called it, was ready for the Homecoming.
Timothy had a few deep dark secrets but no one was telling. Now this all sounds confusing even to me so I will go back thirty years to the Preparation for the Homecoming and explain a few things.
At that time the world was changing faster than folks could ever remember. There was no way to tell a brief trend from a long term social change. There were the beginnings of some real nastiness in the country as well.
Timothy had always been a tolerant place to live. Different age, racial, gender and ethnic groups got along just fine but folks saw that there was trouble brewing elsewhere so the citizens and council had a meeting. They decided to tune in, turn on and drop out. And they did.
The stronger young folks were encouraged to tune in. They tuned in to radio, TV, movies and newspapers just to find out how bad it was out there and reported regularly to the city council.
The whole town was encouraged to turn on. There were exercise classes for everyone, health clinics within easy reach of all and lots of sports for young and old. The city parks were filled with folks practicing tai-chi for instance and music. Competitions and cooperations abounded.
The better educated of the group, and a few used car salesmen and women, were expected to drop out and they did. They dropped out of town and went into politics in the State of Mind the border of which ran right through the center of town. Others went into politics in the State of Confusion the border of which also ran right through the center of town.
Then they all did their jobs, kept active on the city council, had meetings and began the Preparation. The politicians were of course the most devious. At the state capitols they all got active in road construction policy, taxes and other committees of value. They saw to it that over time two intersecting superhighways that were being built crossed about ten miles from Timothy so its own citizens could always travel easily when they needed to go anywhere. North, South, East or West.
They also saw to it that no signs were ever put up and that the off ramps were even more confusing than most and would always lead the unsuspecting back to the same road they were on unless they had the town MAP.
The politicians in the tax bureau were busy too. Now all the citizens of Timothy wanted to do the right thing with their tax dollar but they also knew the states rarely did.
They wanted to pay their fair share of taxes for the betterment of all but they did NOT want to pay for the pork barrel projects like the dead end road at Loosedale, that abounded. After computers got invented in Redmond, WA this became easier. The tax politicians figured out how much real tax the state needed and found a way to pay that and NO MORE. They also found a way so that no one would ever discover how they did this.
Now none of Timothy’s politicians were fooled when the capitol of the State of Confusion was changed from Winton to Giggleopolis and they continued to do their jobs. In fact one or two just might have had a hand in the silly sign painters mistakes if you know what I mean.
It presented further opportunities to change some things back home. Like the city's state border running down the center of town. By the time the new state government got to work in Giggleopolis, the border of Timothy had been moved back into the hills of the State of Confusion which helped Timothy miss a few of the ridiculous tax burdens as well.
Life went on and on. Then the Homecoming came and went. Folks came home to stay because they had worked hard to build a fine city. There was no crime to speak of because folks lived decently and didn't need crime. Oh sure, the errant tagger came to town looking for new vistas to mar but they were quickly absorbed into the work force as sign painters or other useful citizens.
Sometimes when a car strayed from the main roads and found itself in a nice city that wasn't on any map they would be followed around by the local biker gang who were just the police force in funny clothes. They covered the blue lights on their bikes with club colors on their off duty hours but if the car looked suspicious, off came the cover and the car was properly examined.
This was just one example of good city planning. Having off duty police use their cars around town, meant that there were many more cars and motorcycles patrolling the streets and the cost was quite reasonable.
The small city of Timothy is still there not in one state or the other but where it really wanted to be. Like a lot of decent hard working places all over this country the folks are proud of the work they have done to make it so nice. I'll bet you could find one of these towns if you tried really hard. You just might be Timothy material yourself.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
How Giggleopolis Became the Capital of the State of Confusion
How Giggleopolis Became the Capital of the State of Confusion
by
Robin Hall
Mind you this is merely speculation just like most things, but from the very best sources available I have pieced together the following brief history, talked to some of the people involved and investigated the silly circumstances that changed the course of history in these parts.
Its about Winton, The State of Confusion, Wilson, Winston and as you will learn, Giggleopolis.
Winton. For as long as anyone could remember, Winton was the Capital of the State of Confusion, that is to say for at least 37 years since not many people remember things longer than that. A few of the really old-timers remembered something about a town named Winston but these were only rumors.
Winton was a mild mannered town in the center of the state which was very handy, unlike the Capital of Flamingo Land which was way up in the panhandle and definitely NOT handy.
Still, Winton had its crime sprees just like everywhere else. For instance about 11 years ago two young men in baggy pants, backward hats and ill fitting shoes drove a suspicious looking AMC Gremlin into town. Big colorful signatures and pictures began appearing everywhere. Winton was getting tagged.
One day, Wilson, Smitty, Smits the local sheriff and garage owner saw some paint cans in the Gremlin when the boys stopped in for gas.
That night at dinner, Wilson pointed this out to his fine, and much smarter wife, Cora. "Wilson, you are a good mechanic, husband and father but your crime detecting skills leave much to be desired. Those were the taggers!!" she said affectionately.
Wilson was not one to take offense easily but he was not too big a fool either. The next time the boys stopped for gas he arrested them, locked them in the men's room of the garage which was about as close to a jail as Winton had and he called Judge Brampton who was next door having a massage with Milly.
Milly was very good at her job and regularly tended to the men and women of Winton. Milly tended to anyone with ca$h.
The Judge came right over. He tried and convicted the boys then he sentenced them to clean up their mess.
Their car, the suspicious Gremlin was impounded. Later in the week the local sign painting company's owner offered the boys a job since she didn't have anyone to paint signs and they both accepted the job in lieu of more commode time.
Several years later, the younger boy, Willie the Rat, became vice president of the sign painting company when he married the boss’ daughter and his friend Wee Mikey was elevated to chief sign painter.
These positions allowed the boys to become useful citizens. Wee Mikey also married, they both had families and lived a productive life as is so often the case with malicious taggers and other folk who don't have a regular life.
Now as to Giggleopolis.
Giggleopolis was about 44 miles southwest of Winton. It did not have good sign painters.
The signs on the nearby four lane highway were being fixed over the holidays. The ill-trained painters got confused and had the arrows for Winton pointing to Giggleopolis. Everyone from the south came by, saw the signs and drove into Giggleopolis where the signs pointed.
The governor was somewhat confused when he got back from the holidays. Winton had completely changed into Giggleopolis. The assistant governor was similarly confused as were half of the state senators and representatives. However they all just met at the local bar, had some tequila sunrises, began work as usual and that was that.
Of course there were lots of new buildings to build and no one figured out where the other half of the senators, representatives and most of the state workers were, but remember, this was the State of Confusion.
No one missed the Secretary of State all that much. Everyone knew he couldn't type and who needed a secretary who couldn't type?
The Secretary of the State was from the northern half of the State of Confusion and didn't see the offending signs. When he got back from vacation most of the important people were not there.
He needed a job and the local dairy was hiring drivers but didn't need a Secretary of State, especially one who couldn't type. So he got hired and is doing quite well to this day.
Early on his boss discovered that he was quite punctual which is important for a dairy driver. In later years he married a local lad who no one could figure out what he did for a living. It was suspected he wrote computer programs or traded stocks.
The senators, representatives and other workers from the northern parts of the state also didn't see the offending sign and they too returned to work in Winton after the holiday.
Alas no one was there to tell them what to do so they all went home and took productive jobs in construction though a few stayed on at the dairy.
And that is how Giggleopolis became the capital of the State of Confusion. Perhaps we could blame all this on holidays, sign painters or merely chance. These speculations are beyond the scope of this report.
by
Robin Hall
Mind you this is merely speculation just like most things, but from the very best sources available I have pieced together the following brief history, talked to some of the people involved and investigated the silly circumstances that changed the course of history in these parts.
Its about Winton, The State of Confusion, Wilson, Winston and as you will learn, Giggleopolis.
Winton. For as long as anyone could remember, Winton was the Capital of the State of Confusion, that is to say for at least 37 years since not many people remember things longer than that. A few of the really old-timers remembered something about a town named Winston but these were only rumors.
Winton was a mild mannered town in the center of the state which was very handy, unlike the Capital of Flamingo Land which was way up in the panhandle and definitely NOT handy.
Still, Winton had its crime sprees just like everywhere else. For instance about 11 years ago two young men in baggy pants, backward hats and ill fitting shoes drove a suspicious looking AMC Gremlin into town. Big colorful signatures and pictures began appearing everywhere. Winton was getting tagged.
One day, Wilson, Smitty, Smits the local sheriff and garage owner saw some paint cans in the Gremlin when the boys stopped in for gas.
That night at dinner, Wilson pointed this out to his fine, and much smarter wife, Cora. "Wilson, you are a good mechanic, husband and father but your crime detecting skills leave much to be desired. Those were the taggers!!" she said affectionately.
Wilson was not one to take offense easily but he was not too big a fool either. The next time the boys stopped for gas he arrested them, locked them in the men's room of the garage which was about as close to a jail as Winton had and he called Judge Brampton who was next door having a massage with Milly.
Milly was very good at her job and regularly tended to the men and women of Winton. Milly tended to anyone with ca$h.
The Judge came right over. He tried and convicted the boys then he sentenced them to clean up their mess.
Their car, the suspicious Gremlin was impounded. Later in the week the local sign painting company's owner offered the boys a job since she didn't have anyone to paint signs and they both accepted the job in lieu of more commode time.
Several years later, the younger boy, Willie the Rat, became vice president of the sign painting company when he married the boss’ daughter and his friend Wee Mikey was elevated to chief sign painter.
These positions allowed the boys to become useful citizens. Wee Mikey also married, they both had families and lived a productive life as is so often the case with malicious taggers and other folk who don't have a regular life.
Now as to Giggleopolis.
Giggleopolis was about 44 miles southwest of Winton. It did not have good sign painters.
The signs on the nearby four lane highway were being fixed over the holidays. The ill-trained painters got confused and had the arrows for Winton pointing to Giggleopolis. Everyone from the south came by, saw the signs and drove into Giggleopolis where the signs pointed.
The governor was somewhat confused when he got back from the holidays. Winton had completely changed into Giggleopolis. The assistant governor was similarly confused as were half of the state senators and representatives. However they all just met at the local bar, had some tequila sunrises, began work as usual and that was that.
Of course there were lots of new buildings to build and no one figured out where the other half of the senators, representatives and most of the state workers were, but remember, this was the State of Confusion.
No one missed the Secretary of State all that much. Everyone knew he couldn't type and who needed a secretary who couldn't type?
The Secretary of the State was from the northern half of the State of Confusion and didn't see the offending signs. When he got back from vacation most of the important people were not there.
He needed a job and the local dairy was hiring drivers but didn't need a Secretary of State, especially one who couldn't type. So he got hired and is doing quite well to this day.
Early on his boss discovered that he was quite punctual which is important for a dairy driver. In later years he married a local lad who no one could figure out what he did for a living. It was suspected he wrote computer programs or traded stocks.
The senators, representatives and other workers from the northern parts of the state also didn't see the offending sign and they too returned to work in Winton after the holiday.
Alas no one was there to tell them what to do so they all went home and took productive jobs in construction though a few stayed on at the dairy.
And that is how Giggleopolis became the capital of the State of Confusion. Perhaps we could blame all this on holidays, sign painters or merely chance. These speculations are beyond the scope of this report.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Snorfle Earns His Chocolate
Snorfle Earns His Chocolate
by
Robin Hall
Snorfle had to admit that he had put on weight. Yes, he was 3. And that is about 22 years, 13 months, 5 weeks, 8 days and 27 hours, more or less, in people years, but who was counting?
No, he didn't have big bones, they were just right. And his jeans were not shrinking either. In fact, he didn't even own a pair of jeans plus they would have looked silly on a pig. Thirty 3 pounds was about 8 too many for our little friend and he knew it.
Now Cary, Jerry, Merry and Red Cherry were fit and trim. After all, they ate right and exercised most days. OK, Red wasn't all that trim, but being healthy and fit were more important. Merry liked him just fine the way he was and called him Mr. Bear sometimes late at night when the kids were asleep, but enough of that.
Snorfle, ate right too. And then some. But Snorfle didn't exercise enough and he was a pig not a bear. So what was he to do? "I will go on a diet," he exclaimed. But Snorfle knew that diets usually didn't work without some exercise, so he thought some more. "Hmmm. I could cut down on pig chow." This was not a good idea either. Pigs need to keep up their strength.
"Oh dear, what will I do?" So he slept on it. Then Snorfle sent out a "call", using his wonderful telepigathy, to his older and more experienced friend Winston. Now Winston was eating at the time. Snorfle's telepigathy had grown very strong these last few months and the "call" startled Winston and he almost choked on some raisins.
"Snorfle, we need to get you back to Cassadega for some lessons on controlling your gifts. How can I help you my young friend?"
"Winston, I am a pig. I have gained all this weight and don't know what to do." "I see," said the older, wiser and fitter Winston. "Tell me what's your favorite food?" Snorfle waffled a bit and said, "Grapes." "Grapes?" said Winston who knew that grapes are indeed good. "Well," said Snorfle, "I do eat a bit of chocolate sometimes."
Winston grinned. "Go on," he said. "I just eat a tiny bit of chocolate though. Today I only had one bag of chocolate chips. Yesterday there was some chocolate cake and ice-cream at the twins party. Friday I had that fudge. Oh my. I'm a chocoholic, and Snorfle started to cry.
Winston told him that it was OK to eat treats sometimes but you mustn't abuse food. "Say, why don't you do like I do? Earn your treats. Only eat a bit of your favorites when you have done some good exercise like walking, trotting or digging for half an hour."
Snorfle thought and thought. "Thanks Winston, I will try that. Bye. I will talk to you later."
The next day when Snorfle woke up he charged into the kitchen to scarf up some of the new chocolate, banana, raisin, plum ice-cream. But a strange thing happened. He stopped and remembered what his friend had said.
"Right. I am in control and will earn my treats." So he did. Snorfle went out for a walk. The first day he was very tired after just walking around the block. The next day he walked a bit farther and by the end of the week he was walking around 3 blocks even though he was puffing some.
Snorfle noticed that he wasn't as hungry for chocolates anymore either and as his hooves toughened up, he could walk faster and farther with every passing day. Every once in a while he would forget and make a break for the chocolate chips, but he was exercising everyday and knew he could have treats because he had earned them.
A fine lesson for pigs and people. And you know what? Snorfle began going out with the family more and more and everyone at 1440 Highridge Rd., in beautiful Lake Swenson stayed fit and healthy because they wanted to.
The End and the Beginning of being fit for life.
by
Robin Hall
Snorfle had to admit that he had put on weight. Yes, he was 3. And that is about 22 years, 13 months, 5 weeks, 8 days and 27 hours, more or less, in people years, but who was counting?
No, he didn't have big bones, they were just right. And his jeans were not shrinking either. In fact, he didn't even own a pair of jeans plus they would have looked silly on a pig. Thirty 3 pounds was about 8 too many for our little friend and he knew it.
Now Cary, Jerry, Merry and Red Cherry were fit and trim. After all, they ate right and exercised most days. OK, Red wasn't all that trim, but being healthy and fit were more important. Merry liked him just fine the way he was and called him Mr. Bear sometimes late at night when the kids were asleep, but enough of that.
Snorfle, ate right too. And then some. But Snorfle didn't exercise enough and he was a pig not a bear. So what was he to do? "I will go on a diet," he exclaimed. But Snorfle knew that diets usually didn't work without some exercise, so he thought some more. "Hmmm. I could cut down on pig chow." This was not a good idea either. Pigs need to keep up their strength.
"Oh dear, what will I do?" So he slept on it. Then Snorfle sent out a "call", using his wonderful telepigathy, to his older and more experienced friend Winston. Now Winston was eating at the time. Snorfle's telepigathy had grown very strong these last few months and the "call" startled Winston and he almost choked on some raisins.
"Snorfle, we need to get you back to Cassadega for some lessons on controlling your gifts. How can I help you my young friend?"
"Winston, I am a pig. I have gained all this weight and don't know what to do." "I see," said the older, wiser and fitter Winston. "Tell me what's your favorite food?" Snorfle waffled a bit and said, "Grapes." "Grapes?" said Winston who knew that grapes are indeed good. "Well," said Snorfle, "I do eat a bit of chocolate sometimes."
Winston grinned. "Go on," he said. "I just eat a tiny bit of chocolate though. Today I only had one bag of chocolate chips. Yesterday there was some chocolate cake and ice-cream at the twins party. Friday I had that fudge. Oh my. I'm a chocoholic, and Snorfle started to cry.
Winston told him that it was OK to eat treats sometimes but you mustn't abuse food. "Say, why don't you do like I do? Earn your treats. Only eat a bit of your favorites when you have done some good exercise like walking, trotting or digging for half an hour."
Snorfle thought and thought. "Thanks Winston, I will try that. Bye. I will talk to you later."
The next day when Snorfle woke up he charged into the kitchen to scarf up some of the new chocolate, banana, raisin, plum ice-cream. But a strange thing happened. He stopped and remembered what his friend had said.
"Right. I am in control and will earn my treats." So he did. Snorfle went out for a walk. The first day he was very tired after just walking around the block. The next day he walked a bit farther and by the end of the week he was walking around 3 blocks even though he was puffing some.
Snorfle noticed that he wasn't as hungry for chocolates anymore either and as his hooves toughened up, he could walk faster and farther with every passing day. Every once in a while he would forget and make a break for the chocolate chips, but he was exercising everyday and knew he could have treats because he had earned them.
A fine lesson for pigs and people. And you know what? Snorfle began going out with the family more and more and everyone at 1440 Highridge Rd., in beautiful Lake Swenson stayed fit and healthy because they wanted to.
The End and the Beginning of being fit for life.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Snorfle and Suzi D.
Snorfle and Suzi D.
by
Robin Hall
Snorfle had lived with the Cherries: Red, Merry, Cary and Jerry for 3 weeks now and anyone could see they were a happy loving family. Everyday after school and work, the Cherry's family time began.
After a quiet dinner, Cary and Jerry Cherry would tell about school, read stories they had written, show off the pictures they drew and get help with their homework.
Red Cherry would talk briefly about his security business and Mary would explain her latest real estate ad campaign to see if her family had any good ideas she could use, which they often did. Snorfle would show his family where he had hidden all his toys and the TV remote control that day.
Then they would all sing songs, play board games, work on a shop project, watch a little TV and go to bed. One day Suzi Delores Freidl Hernandez, Cary’s special friend and the Cherry’s neighbor, came over for a few hours while her parents went to see a lawyer. They were getting a divorce.
Now Suzi had been suffering the most through this breakup. Her parents sometimes forgot she was around and that she loved them both, even though they no longer loved each other.
Well, coming into such a loving house was a shock for Suzi and she went to the den and cried. Snorfle went into the den, but Suzi was still shy and wouldn't play.
Then Snorfle heard a voice. Suzi hadn't spoken and he ran to see if the Cherries had called him, but they were in the garage working on picnic chairs. Snorfle ran to the living room and the twins room to see if the TV was on. Nope.
Then the voice came again, "Snorfle, this is Winston. I TALKED to you in your dreams. You are getting old enough to use your telepigathy now. I SPOKE to your mother. father, sister, and brother and they all send their love."
Snorfle was very excited. It was his first long distance contact with telepigathy.
He was very proud of himself for he was no longer a piglet. Snorfle was a full fledged pig.
Snorfle ASKED Winston what to do about Suzi. Winston SAID, "Bring a few things to her to see if she would like to play." And he did. "We’ll TALK more tomorrow and congratulations on becoming a pig."
First Snorfle pushed his favorite tennis ball into the den. Suzi ignored him. Snorfle pushed a golf ball in next. Nothing from Suzi. Snorfle thought, "This calls for drastic measures." So he went to the kitchen for some water, came back and bubbled Suzi's knee with it. Suzi smiled. Suzi giggled. Then she burst out laughing.
The Cherries ran to see what was up. It was wonderful to see Suzi laughing again and Merry took some instant photos to show Suzi’s parents then made some raspberry tea. Suzi joined the Cherries for family time and had the best evening she could remember in a long time.
When her folks came back from the lawyers, they saw how happy Suzi was with such a loving family. They both vowed to remember Suzi' s feelings and to show her how much she was loved.
And while Suzi‘s parents did get a divorce, they never forgot how happy Suzi was in the photos and realized they couldn't take their anger out on their daughter or forget her feelings for both of them.
Mrs. Hernandez’ heart was opened a bit, too, and Snorfle let out a telepigathy shout of joy which was heard by his sister Snee in Cassadega. At that moment Snee began her wait for the Hernandez family just as Snorfle had waited for the Cherries.
And since a pig open house was coming up soon, it wouldn't be long before Suzi would find a pig named Snee at the Birdsong farm in Cassadega not far from the Cherry’s house at 1440 Highridge Rd. in good old Lake Swenson.
The End
by
Robin Hall
Snorfle had lived with the Cherries: Red, Merry, Cary and Jerry for 3 weeks now and anyone could see they were a happy loving family. Everyday after school and work, the Cherry's family time began.
After a quiet dinner, Cary and Jerry Cherry would tell about school, read stories they had written, show off the pictures they drew and get help with their homework.
Red Cherry would talk briefly about his security business and Mary would explain her latest real estate ad campaign to see if her family had any good ideas she could use, which they often did. Snorfle would show his family where he had hidden all his toys and the TV remote control that day.
Then they would all sing songs, play board games, work on a shop project, watch a little TV and go to bed. One day Suzi Delores Freidl Hernandez, Cary’s special friend and the Cherry’s neighbor, came over for a few hours while her parents went to see a lawyer. They were getting a divorce.
Now Suzi had been suffering the most through this breakup. Her parents sometimes forgot she was around and that she loved them both, even though they no longer loved each other.
Well, coming into such a loving house was a shock for Suzi and she went to the den and cried. Snorfle went into the den, but Suzi was still shy and wouldn't play.
Then Snorfle heard a voice. Suzi hadn't spoken and he ran to see if the Cherries had called him, but they were in the garage working on picnic chairs. Snorfle ran to the living room and the twins room to see if the TV was on. Nope.
Then the voice came again, "Snorfle, this is Winston. I TALKED to you in your dreams. You are getting old enough to use your telepigathy now. I SPOKE to your mother. father, sister, and brother and they all send their love."
Snorfle was very excited. It was his first long distance contact with telepigathy.
He was very proud of himself for he was no longer a piglet. Snorfle was a full fledged pig.
Snorfle ASKED Winston what to do about Suzi. Winston SAID, "Bring a few things to her to see if she would like to play." And he did. "We’ll TALK more tomorrow and congratulations on becoming a pig."
First Snorfle pushed his favorite tennis ball into the den. Suzi ignored him. Snorfle pushed a golf ball in next. Nothing from Suzi. Snorfle thought, "This calls for drastic measures." So he went to the kitchen for some water, came back and bubbled Suzi's knee with it. Suzi smiled. Suzi giggled. Then she burst out laughing.
The Cherries ran to see what was up. It was wonderful to see Suzi laughing again and Merry took some instant photos to show Suzi’s parents then made some raspberry tea. Suzi joined the Cherries for family time and had the best evening she could remember in a long time.
When her folks came back from the lawyers, they saw how happy Suzi was with such a loving family. They both vowed to remember Suzi' s feelings and to show her how much she was loved.
And while Suzi‘s parents did get a divorce, they never forgot how happy Suzi was in the photos and realized they couldn't take their anger out on their daughter or forget her feelings for both of them.
Mrs. Hernandez’ heart was opened a bit, too, and Snorfle let out a telepigathy shout of joy which was heard by his sister Snee in Cassadega. At that moment Snee began her wait for the Hernandez family just as Snorfle had waited for the Cherries.
And since a pig open house was coming up soon, it wouldn't be long before Suzi would find a pig named Snee at the Birdsong farm in Cassadega not far from the Cherry’s house at 1440 Highridge Rd. in good old Lake Swenson.
The End
Friday, April 27, 2007
Snorfle Turns Blue
Snorfle Turns Blue
by
Robin Hall
Snorfle was a good pig. He was smart, curious and beautiful too. He listened to his parents like all good pigs did unless they discovered their parents were wrong, which was more often than previously suspected.
He also knew that he had his own path to travel in the world and that path led him to Cary, Jerry, Mary and Red Cherry at 1440 Highridge Rd. which was about a mile from downtown Lake Swenson and closer to Music Valley in the State of Grace than even a smart and sweet natured young pig could know, for now.
The Cherries were a fine family. They worked hard, spent lots of time together and everyone knew that they were special and loved. They knew this because they told each other in many ways everyday. Some days Red would make things in his shop for the whole family. Some days he would bring Mary a rose from the flower store or Colonel Smith’s rose bushes, with Colonel Smith’s complete approval of course.
Mary would cook nice healthy things for everyone to show her love. The twins would write stories, read them at family time and gladly did chores to show their love. Everyone hugged each other in the morning and at night and no one ever forgot to say the words that are magic if they are real: I love you. Some families forget the magic words. Make sure your family remembers and is telling the truth. I LOVE YOU, regardless. Unconditional love. Well, we can do our best in this.
Snorfle was very happy with his human family but he missed his own family sometimes. When the Cherries got the Internet, Snorfle got online too, late at night of course when the others were asleep. Typing was tricky for a young Vietnamese Potbellied Pig and a bit slow but Snorfle learned quickly. His online name was porgy123 from the musical he had seen one time on TV.
Now the Internet was interesting, but as Snorfle’s telepigathy improved he spent more time on pignet which was similar,more interesting and both free and freeing.
Young pigs from all over the world would send instant, if somewhat startling, messages to other pigs day or night. Sometimes it was unsettling to be awakened from a nice dream when Flin, Bnu, Tle or any of the others would want to talk and forget the 12 hour time difference. Part of all young pig's chores is to learn to filter out instant messages so they can get some sleep.
Anyway, Snorfle was learning about the world of pigs. There were cousins, aunts, uncles, friends and just bundles of wonderful pigs everywhere except in THE ARTIC or ANTARTIC. No pig in his or her right mind would go to these places of course. The stories about THE ARTIC and huge white snow bears were enough to scare even the oldest pig.
Most of the time Snorfle would just pop-up online, the online of pignet, though it really was telepigathy. He would say hi to his friends and go about his day. However on April first Snorfle stayed on pignet longer. There were some new pigs from Botswana telling about the rainy season and everyone was fascinated. Snorfle was getting cold in Siberia-space as all pigs did who stayed online too long. He ignored the warnings from pig school about spending too much time on pignet.
His teachers had gone into great detail about what could happen if you spent more than a few hours in Siberia space. You might just freeze because it was cold there and pigs need to be playing in the sun to be healthy. Too much time online was not healthy.
Snorfle forgot the warnings. He went online just after the Cherries left for school and work at 7:30 in the morning and by noon he had talked till he was blue in the face. By 2 PM he talked till he was blue in the shoulders and feet. By 4 he had talked till he was blue in the tail too. Snorfle was frozen solid, blue from head to tail and he couldn't’t even move.
When the Cherries got home at 4:30 they were very alarmed and rushed to their friend to see what happened. Snorfle could hear them OK he just couldn't’t wag his tail or anything. Even his eyelids were frozen. Well, Mary called Dr. Swann instantly.
“Calm down,” Dr. Swann said. “We have been waiting for your call. Snorfle’s cousin Snee told me this was likely. Er, what? Uh well. Never mind, I just knew. It happens to lots of young pigs. They get on pignet and lose their way? Well, just put Snorfle in the bathtub and fill it with warm water. He will be fine in about 2 hours.” Mary Cherry did just that but wondered what all the other stuff about Snorfle’s cousin and some pignet was.
In about an hour Snorfle’s nose was finally pink. His tail warmed up and turned beige like the rest of him and by dinner time at 6:30 Snorfle was finally back to normal. The Cherries all cheered and had a nice dinner of soy burger chili with fava beans, skim milk, salad plus lime and okra Jell-O for desert. Snorfle had pig chow, some fava beans under the table but he just didn't’t want the ice in his bowl for some reason.
That evening after the wonderful meal, the twins read The Bells by Edgar Allen Poe; Red told about the new saw he saw in Woodworker magazine; Mary played her viola and they all sang songs, then went to bed early.
Snorfle was glad to get unfrozen and he rushed to his pig nest. He tossed and turned till he got comfortable and warm then he went to sleep. Everything was white. He dreamed of snow, snow flakes, snowballs, snow bears, snow bushes, snow geese, snow leopards, snowmobiles, snow plows, snow pudding and snow shoes. Snorfle shivered.
Then he dreamed that his friend Winston told him to remember his school lesson: pignet was for information and fun but real life was where pigs belonged most of the time. With that, Snorfle finally relaxed and slept soundly and warmly the rest of the night. He had finally learned his lesson, but who was Sno?
by
Robin Hall
Snorfle was a good pig. He was smart, curious and beautiful too. He listened to his parents like all good pigs did unless they discovered their parents were wrong, which was more often than previously suspected.
He also knew that he had his own path to travel in the world and that path led him to Cary, Jerry, Mary and Red Cherry at 1440 Highridge Rd. which was about a mile from downtown Lake Swenson and closer to Music Valley in the State of Grace than even a smart and sweet natured young pig could know, for now.
The Cherries were a fine family. They worked hard, spent lots of time together and everyone knew that they were special and loved. They knew this because they told each other in many ways everyday. Some days Red would make things in his shop for the whole family. Some days he would bring Mary a rose from the flower store or Colonel Smith’s rose bushes, with Colonel Smith’s complete approval of course.
Mary would cook nice healthy things for everyone to show her love. The twins would write stories, read them at family time and gladly did chores to show their love. Everyone hugged each other in the morning and at night and no one ever forgot to say the words that are magic if they are real: I love you. Some families forget the magic words. Make sure your family remembers and is telling the truth. I LOVE YOU, regardless. Unconditional love. Well, we can do our best in this.
Snorfle was very happy with his human family but he missed his own family sometimes. When the Cherries got the Internet, Snorfle got online too, late at night of course when the others were asleep. Typing was tricky for a young Vietnamese Potbellied Pig and a bit slow but Snorfle learned quickly. His online name was porgy123 from the musical he had seen one time on TV.
Now the Internet was interesting, but as Snorfle’s telepigathy improved he spent more time on pignet which was similar,more interesting and both free and freeing.
Young pigs from all over the world would send instant, if somewhat startling, messages to other pigs day or night. Sometimes it was unsettling to be awakened from a nice dream when Flin, Bnu, Tle or any of the others would want to talk and forget the 12 hour time difference. Part of all young pig's chores is to learn to filter out instant messages so they can get some sleep.
Anyway, Snorfle was learning about the world of pigs. There were cousins, aunts, uncles, friends and just bundles of wonderful pigs everywhere except in THE ARTIC or ANTARTIC. No pig in his or her right mind would go to these places of course. The stories about THE ARTIC and huge white snow bears were enough to scare even the oldest pig.
Most of the time Snorfle would just pop-up online, the online of pignet, though it really was telepigathy. He would say hi to his friends and go about his day. However on April first Snorfle stayed on pignet longer. There were some new pigs from Botswana telling about the rainy season and everyone was fascinated. Snorfle was getting cold in Siberia-space as all pigs did who stayed online too long. He ignored the warnings from pig school about spending too much time on pignet.
His teachers had gone into great detail about what could happen if you spent more than a few hours in Siberia space. You might just freeze because it was cold there and pigs need to be playing in the sun to be healthy. Too much time online was not healthy.
Snorfle forgot the warnings. He went online just after the Cherries left for school and work at 7:30 in the morning and by noon he had talked till he was blue in the face. By 2 PM he talked till he was blue in the shoulders and feet. By 4 he had talked till he was blue in the tail too. Snorfle was frozen solid, blue from head to tail and he couldn't’t even move.
When the Cherries got home at 4:30 they were very alarmed and rushed to their friend to see what happened. Snorfle could hear them OK he just couldn't’t wag his tail or anything. Even his eyelids were frozen. Well, Mary called Dr. Swann instantly.
“Calm down,” Dr. Swann said. “We have been waiting for your call. Snorfle’s cousin Snee told me this was likely. Er, what? Uh well. Never mind, I just knew. It happens to lots of young pigs. They get on pignet and lose their way? Well, just put Snorfle in the bathtub and fill it with warm water. He will be fine in about 2 hours.” Mary Cherry did just that but wondered what all the other stuff about Snorfle’s cousin and some pignet was.
In about an hour Snorfle’s nose was finally pink. His tail warmed up and turned beige like the rest of him and by dinner time at 6:30 Snorfle was finally back to normal. The Cherries all cheered and had a nice dinner of soy burger chili with fava beans, skim milk, salad plus lime and okra Jell-O for desert. Snorfle had pig chow, some fava beans under the table but he just didn't’t want the ice in his bowl for some reason.
That evening after the wonderful meal, the twins read The Bells by Edgar Allen Poe; Red told about the new saw he saw in Woodworker magazine; Mary played her viola and they all sang songs, then went to bed early.
Snorfle was glad to get unfrozen and he rushed to his pig nest. He tossed and turned till he got comfortable and warm then he went to sleep. Everything was white. He dreamed of snow, snow flakes, snowballs, snow bears, snow bushes, snow geese, snow leopards, snowmobiles, snow plows, snow pudding and snow shoes. Snorfle shivered.
Then he dreamed that his friend Winston told him to remember his school lesson: pignet was for information and fun but real life was where pigs belonged most of the time. With that, Snorfle finally relaxed and slept soundly and warmly the rest of the night. He had finally learned his lesson, but who was Sno?
Friday, April 20, 2007
Snorfle, New Pig on the Block
Snorfle, New Pig on the Block
by
Robin Hall
One day Cary Cherry decided to take Snorfle for a walk around the neighborhood. He put Snorfle in his new harness, hooked on the leash and set off down the street.
Snorfle was very excited. Everything was new. He loved the short grass. It tickled his nose, and it smelled wonderful. Plus it had lots of bugs. Pigs love to root in the grass for dirt and bugs, and each lawn had different grass and different bugs.
Cary and Snorfle first stopped next door to meet Suzi, Cary's special friend. Suzi's full name was Suzi Dolores Friedle Hernandez. Her great grandfather was Spanish, her grandma and grandpa were German and her mother was Jamaican. Cary thought Suzi was beautiful.
Today, Suzi was shy and ran into the house when she saw Snorfle. But Snorfle knew they would become good friends later.
The next house was owned by Colonel Elmo P. Smith who had a Pekineses named Thor. The Colonel was watering his lawn when Cary and Snorfle came by. "Good afternoon Cary, who's your new friend?" asked the Colonel. Cary said, "Colonel Smith, this is Snorfle. Snorfle, meet Colonel Smith."
The Colonel sat on the sidewalk and watched while Snorfle rooted on the wet lawn. The grass was so rich Snorfle sneezed twice then headed for the flower bed. Cary and the Colonel laughed and laughed when Snorfle got yellow pollen on his nose from the flowers and tried to rub it off in the gravel. The gravel was kind of rough, but that felt good too.
Then Colonel Smith let his dog Thor out of the house. Thor yipped at Snorfle. Snorfle butted Thor and around they went.
Next, the Colonel turned on the sprayer. Snorfle had a drink. The Colonel turned on more spray and Snorfle tried to butt the water while Thor yipped his approval. Snorfle got soaked running into the water, but it was a warm day and it felt good to be wet.
"Cary, time for dinner," shouted his mother, Merry Cherry. So Cary said goodbye to Thor and the Colonel. The Colonel said goodbye to Cary and Snorfle and home they went.
Cary's father, Red Cherry, was waiting with a towel for Snorfle. Then Red, Jerry, Cary and Merry Cherry, plus Snorfle all had dinner.
The Cherries had snow pea quiche, a salad, skim milk and ice cream for desert. Snorfle had pig chow plus some snow peas which Cary, Red, Merry and Jerry all gave him under the table.
Then the Cherries sang some songs, played Clue and they all watched Star Trek (Snorfle especially liked Whorf). Then they all went to bed.
Red dreamed about his new easy chair, Merry dreamed about Red. Cary dreamed about Suzi, Jerry dreamed about breakfast and Snorfle dreamed that a pig named Winston called to him with telepigathy to welcome him to the neighborhood and his new home at 1440 High Ridge Rd. in beautiful Lake Swenson not that far from Music Valley in the State of Grace.
The End
by
Robin Hall
One day Cary Cherry decided to take Snorfle for a walk around the neighborhood. He put Snorfle in his new harness, hooked on the leash and set off down the street.
Snorfle was very excited. Everything was new. He loved the short grass. It tickled his nose, and it smelled wonderful. Plus it had lots of bugs. Pigs love to root in the grass for dirt and bugs, and each lawn had different grass and different bugs.
Cary and Snorfle first stopped next door to meet Suzi, Cary's special friend. Suzi's full name was Suzi Dolores Friedle Hernandez. Her great grandfather was Spanish, her grandma and grandpa were German and her mother was Jamaican. Cary thought Suzi was beautiful.
Today, Suzi was shy and ran into the house when she saw Snorfle. But Snorfle knew they would become good friends later.
The next house was owned by Colonel Elmo P. Smith who had a Pekineses named Thor. The Colonel was watering his lawn when Cary and Snorfle came by. "Good afternoon Cary, who's your new friend?" asked the Colonel. Cary said, "Colonel Smith, this is Snorfle. Snorfle, meet Colonel Smith."
The Colonel sat on the sidewalk and watched while Snorfle rooted on the wet lawn. The grass was so rich Snorfle sneezed twice then headed for the flower bed. Cary and the Colonel laughed and laughed when Snorfle got yellow pollen on his nose from the flowers and tried to rub it off in the gravel. The gravel was kind of rough, but that felt good too.
Then Colonel Smith let his dog Thor out of the house. Thor yipped at Snorfle. Snorfle butted Thor and around they went.
Next, the Colonel turned on the sprayer. Snorfle had a drink. The Colonel turned on more spray and Snorfle tried to butt the water while Thor yipped his approval. Snorfle got soaked running into the water, but it was a warm day and it felt good to be wet.
"Cary, time for dinner," shouted his mother, Merry Cherry. So Cary said goodbye to Thor and the Colonel. The Colonel said goodbye to Cary and Snorfle and home they went.
Cary's father, Red Cherry, was waiting with a towel for Snorfle. Then Red, Jerry, Cary and Merry Cherry, plus Snorfle all had dinner.
The Cherries had snow pea quiche, a salad, skim milk and ice cream for desert. Snorfle had pig chow plus some snow peas which Cary, Red, Merry and Jerry all gave him under the table.
Then the Cherries sang some songs, played Clue and they all watched Star Trek (Snorfle especially liked Whorf). Then they all went to bed.
Red dreamed about his new easy chair, Merry dreamed about Red. Cary dreamed about Suzi, Jerry dreamed about breakfast and Snorfle dreamed that a pig named Winston called to him with telepigathy to welcome him to the neighborhood and his new home at 1440 High Ridge Rd. in beautiful Lake Swenson not that far from Music Valley in the State of Grace.
The End
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Alfred Gnu’s Sister Lulu Gnu's Tutu
Alfred Gnu’s Sister Lulu Gnu's Tutu
by
Robin Hall
One day the BBC was playing the Nutcracker Suite. Alfred had heard the ballet last year but now he got to watch it on a tiny little TV screen that was left by some American tourists. Now this TV watching seemed strange to Alfred. Why in the world would anyone pay good money to come to deepest, darkest Africa for a vacation and bring a TV?
Well, Alfred noticed Americans were somewhat strange and not all that well liked by many but Alfred liked most tourists plus the exotic foods the Americans left at the picnic grounds was excellent and don't forget the TV.
There were Baked Beans which made him a bit windy but tasted great and there were Twinkies, perhaps the most famous food in the world. Alfred had learned to read, again thanks to the BBC, and perused the Twinkies package.
There was no real food there however. It was all chemicals except some flour which was listed about half way down, but youngsters everywhere didn't let anything like nutrition get in the way of fun foods and neither did Alfred.
After his snack Alfred moved under the shade of a nearby tree and was dozing noisily and windily. The Nutcracker suite was a good rendition, if somewhat crackly due to the transmission problems in Africa, but it made him dream and dream and dream...
All of a sudden his sister Lulu gnu was pirouetting around wearing a tutu. Now gnus don’t normally wear clothing, let alone tutus and Alfred giggled in his sleep.
If you know anything about gnus, and Alfred did, you know that gnus do seem silly and a tutu wouldn't be all that out of place. If they are threatened for instance, they look ferocious then begin bouncing up and down like in a ballet and there was Lulu gnu pirouetting in her pink tutu in the First Act. Well, this was a fine dream and it went on and on.
All the grisly bewildered beasts, or gnus, in his area joined in the show. Most of them were his cousins: Dowabi, Darwin, Waynie, SuSu his sister Lulu and several others too.
Then the lions joined in and several wore tights. There were two lions with tutus and a hilarious giraffe frolicked with 3 zebras and a springbok. Tutus and tights were everywhere. It rained nuts and raisins and sugarplums and Twinkies and beans and...
"Hey Ma, I found my TV," shouted a portly lad of 12 and Alfred awoke still giggling just like he did from lots of funny dreams. He looked around and wandered off in search of more interesting tourists, exotic foods and good dreams of which he had many.
by
Robin Hall
One day the BBC was playing the Nutcracker Suite. Alfred had heard the ballet last year but now he got to watch it on a tiny little TV screen that was left by some American tourists. Now this TV watching seemed strange to Alfred. Why in the world would anyone pay good money to come to deepest, darkest Africa for a vacation and bring a TV?
Well, Alfred noticed Americans were somewhat strange and not all that well liked by many but Alfred liked most tourists plus the exotic foods the Americans left at the picnic grounds was excellent and don't forget the TV.
There were Baked Beans which made him a bit windy but tasted great and there were Twinkies, perhaps the most famous food in the world. Alfred had learned to read, again thanks to the BBC, and perused the Twinkies package.
There was no real food there however. It was all chemicals except some flour which was listed about half way down, but youngsters everywhere didn't let anything like nutrition get in the way of fun foods and neither did Alfred.
After his snack Alfred moved under the shade of a nearby tree and was dozing noisily and windily. The Nutcracker suite was a good rendition, if somewhat crackly due to the transmission problems in Africa, but it made him dream and dream and dream...
All of a sudden his sister Lulu gnu was pirouetting around wearing a tutu. Now gnus don’t normally wear clothing, let alone tutus and Alfred giggled in his sleep.
If you know anything about gnus, and Alfred did, you know that gnus do seem silly and a tutu wouldn't be all that out of place. If they are threatened for instance, they look ferocious then begin bouncing up and down like in a ballet and there was Lulu gnu pirouetting in her pink tutu in the First Act. Well, this was a fine dream and it went on and on.
All the grisly bewildered beasts, or gnus, in his area joined in the show. Most of them were his cousins: Dowabi, Darwin, Waynie, SuSu his sister Lulu and several others too.
Then the lions joined in and several wore tights. There were two lions with tutus and a hilarious giraffe frolicked with 3 zebras and a springbok. Tutus and tights were everywhere. It rained nuts and raisins and sugarplums and Twinkies and beans and...
"Hey Ma, I found my TV," shouted a portly lad of 12 and Alfred awoke still giggling just like he did from lots of funny dreams. He looked around and wandered off in search of more interesting tourists, exotic foods and good dreams of which he had many.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Alfred and Lulu: Gnu Talking
Alfred and Lulu: Gnu Talking
by
Robin Hall
Alfred Gnu was worried about his sister Lulu Gnu. She had been behaving strangely for some time now. Most gnus would spend their days eating, following the herd, snoozing, snoring and to be quite frank most were a bit windy. Lulu ate, followed the herd, snoozed, snored and was windy too but there were other signs that worried Alfred.
Take flowers for instance. Lulu would spend entire days gazing at a single flower. She would move around to see it from other angles, turn her head sideways and almost upside down just watching that flower. She would lie down and watch the flower from ground level too.
Why if her new friends Umar and Hattie were nearby on the lookout, Lulu would get up before dawn just to see some of the flowers open with the sun. By the day's end some were completely gone. Others would change over a few days. Still others seemed to keep on blooming and blooming. Lulu's world was filled with beauty and splendor which she could not share with anyone.
She knew just where all the prettiest flowers on the plains were, when they bloomed, which opened with the sun, how long they lasted and which ones were tasty treats for other animals. Sometimes she would watch from a distance while ants, spiders and other creatures came to the flowers for various reasons. She wondered what those reasons were and studied the tiny animals closely till she figured out what each did with their own flowers.
This was the other thing Alfred worried about, bugs. They were everywhere yet Lulu loved watching them all to see what they were about. "Hmmm," thought Alfred. "Something strange is going on here."
Now everyone knows that gnus can't talk but very few people know about gnu talk. Its like body language humans have such as being antsy, smiling, frowning, winking, and all but just for gnus.
Most gnus noticed the basics of gnu talk like when the herd was getting ready to rampage, prancing when they were scared and the funny bounce step just before they hiccuped. Alfred of course knew much more and he saw all the signs right there with his sister.
Lulu was smart, just like Alfred. But how could that be? Alfred knew that he was a gnu. Lulu did too. He didn't know how he knew but he did know. Lulu did too. She had that bright curious look in her eyes. She was always on the lookout for new beautiful flowers. She had made friends with Alfred's friends Umar and Hattie too.
One day Alfred got up early, had some left over Twinkies he had saved for breakfast then he followed Lulu on one of her flower walks. Now this was the very strangest thing yet. Lulu had taken to wandering into the bushes, stopping briefly at a flower, then moving on to another and another all day. Weird. A flower walk.
After a week of this, Alfred was bursting to ask Lulu what she knew but neither could talk, so what could they do? What would you do if you couldn't talk? You could sign. You would have to learn lots of signs that others knew, practice them and get to know them.
Alfred had seen tourists who did that. Every country seemed to have a different sign language just like they had different spoken languages. Alfred had even learned a bit and knew of a school nearby where they taught signing but there were no gnu-talk schools to go to.
Then it hit him!! "We can make up our own signs, gnu talk deluxe, even dance to communicate." Alfred had seen some wonderful dancing in his 3 years and knew he was on to something.
He began the very next day. Every time Lulu would go near a red flower, Alfred shuffled his front feet. When she stared at a blue flower, Alfred twitched his nose. When she went on her flower walks Alfred wiggled his mouth. Everything Lulu did regularly, Alfred made up a sign or dance for.
Lulu watched Alfred and thought he was teasing her. Then it hit her too. He was gnu talking to her. The next day Lulu followed Alfred all over and made up some of her own signs and dances. Why even their friends Umar and Hattie joined in making up signs. It was wonderful watching the four of them make up their own language.
Every day, one would be the teacher and make up signs for things they couldn't talk about yet. Umar liked to nap a lot so he got to name that. He would yawn and paw the ground. Hattie the chimp loved climbing trees. Her sign for that was to jump up and hoot.
Alfred, Lulu and Umar the lion had a bit of trouble with that one but they all practiced a lot and got very good at all the signs. What a troupe they were. Dancing, prancing, hooting, pawing the ground and all while out on their daily flower walks with the group of them gnu talking, lion talking and chimp talking.
Say, wouldn't it be neat if people could learn the same signs and be able to talk to each other all over the world? Cooperation is what our little troupe had. Maybe they know something that we don't. Who ever said animals were dumb? Not me and I bet not you either.
by
Robin Hall
Alfred Gnu was worried about his sister Lulu Gnu. She had been behaving strangely for some time now. Most gnus would spend their days eating, following the herd, snoozing, snoring and to be quite frank most were a bit windy. Lulu ate, followed the herd, snoozed, snored and was windy too but there were other signs that worried Alfred.
Take flowers for instance. Lulu would spend entire days gazing at a single flower. She would move around to see it from other angles, turn her head sideways and almost upside down just watching that flower. She would lie down and watch the flower from ground level too.
Why if her new friends Umar and Hattie were nearby on the lookout, Lulu would get up before dawn just to see some of the flowers open with the sun. By the day's end some were completely gone. Others would change over a few days. Still others seemed to keep on blooming and blooming. Lulu's world was filled with beauty and splendor which she could not share with anyone.
She knew just where all the prettiest flowers on the plains were, when they bloomed, which opened with the sun, how long they lasted and which ones were tasty treats for other animals. Sometimes she would watch from a distance while ants, spiders and other creatures came to the flowers for various reasons. She wondered what those reasons were and studied the tiny animals closely till she figured out what each did with their own flowers.
This was the other thing Alfred worried about, bugs. They were everywhere yet Lulu loved watching them all to see what they were about. "Hmmm," thought Alfred. "Something strange is going on here."
Now everyone knows that gnus can't talk but very few people know about gnu talk. Its like body language humans have such as being antsy, smiling, frowning, winking, and all but just for gnus.
Most gnus noticed the basics of gnu talk like when the herd was getting ready to rampage, prancing when they were scared and the funny bounce step just before they hiccuped. Alfred of course knew much more and he saw all the signs right there with his sister.
Lulu was smart, just like Alfred. But how could that be? Alfred knew that he was a gnu. Lulu did too. He didn't know how he knew but he did know. Lulu did too. She had that bright curious look in her eyes. She was always on the lookout for new beautiful flowers. She had made friends with Alfred's friends Umar and Hattie too.
One day Alfred got up early, had some left over Twinkies he had saved for breakfast then he followed Lulu on one of her flower walks. Now this was the very strangest thing yet. Lulu had taken to wandering into the bushes, stopping briefly at a flower, then moving on to another and another all day. Weird. A flower walk.
After a week of this, Alfred was bursting to ask Lulu what she knew but neither could talk, so what could they do? What would you do if you couldn't talk? You could sign. You would have to learn lots of signs that others knew, practice them and get to know them.
Alfred had seen tourists who did that. Every country seemed to have a different sign language just like they had different spoken languages. Alfred had even learned a bit and knew of a school nearby where they taught signing but there were no gnu-talk schools to go to.
Then it hit him!! "We can make up our own signs, gnu talk deluxe, even dance to communicate." Alfred had seen some wonderful dancing in his 3 years and knew he was on to something.
He began the very next day. Every time Lulu would go near a red flower, Alfred shuffled his front feet. When she stared at a blue flower, Alfred twitched his nose. When she went on her flower walks Alfred wiggled his mouth. Everything Lulu did regularly, Alfred made up a sign or dance for.
Lulu watched Alfred and thought he was teasing her. Then it hit her too. He was gnu talking to her. The next day Lulu followed Alfred all over and made up some of her own signs and dances. Why even their friends Umar and Hattie joined in making up signs. It was wonderful watching the four of them make up their own language.
Every day, one would be the teacher and make up signs for things they couldn't talk about yet. Umar liked to nap a lot so he got to name that. He would yawn and paw the ground. Hattie the chimp loved climbing trees. Her sign for that was to jump up and hoot.
Alfred, Lulu and Umar the lion had a bit of trouble with that one but they all practiced a lot and got very good at all the signs. What a troupe they were. Dancing, prancing, hooting, pawing the ground and all while out on their daily flower walks with the group of them gnu talking, lion talking and chimp talking.
Say, wouldn't it be neat if people could learn the same signs and be able to talk to each other all over the world? Cooperation is what our little troupe had. Maybe they know something that we don't. Who ever said animals were dumb? Not me and I bet not you either.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Alfred Gnu's Gnu Zoo
Alfred Gnu's Gnu Zoo
by
Robin Hall
The BBC is known all over the world for its fair-minded, if somewhat dull, broadcasting of news, weather, some sports like soccer which they mistakenly called football and a few features about animals, especially dogs. The British are very fond of dogs.
Yesterday's featured story was about some improvements at the London zoo, one of the world's best known. What does this have to do with Alfred Gnu? Well, as you know, Alfred is still a pretty new gnu. Not as new as he was a few months ago when he was born or when he knew he knew but still, pretty new.
Alfred's goal was to learn all sorts of things by watching people and other animals because he couldn't go to gnu schools since there weren't any. There were radios though and many were tuned to the BBC since they had very powerful broadcasting towers all over, even in darkest Africa which wasn't really dark at all.
So Alfred would sneak up near tourist's or guide's tents and listen to the news. He had figured out several languages by now because of all the tourists. He knew Japanese, German, American English and 8 African languages. British English still gave him the occasional headache however but Alfred was very persistent and finally picked it right up along with South African and Australian English. Swahili was easier than English, even the American brand.
So yesterday's feature was on the fine zoo in London. Now this started Alfred thinking, which is a very good way to figure things out as he well knew. On the one hand, zoos seemed like animal jails. None of the animals were free to roam around, check out the tourists, eat new grass on the other side of streams or visit new places.
Alfred had seen people catch some of the animals for the zoos and haul them off. This didn't seem like fun to him either. People would usually shoot a funny gun at an animal and later it would just fall over. Then they would put the animal into a cage and away it went far from home, family and friends. This also seemed sad to Alfred.
On the other hand, Alfred knew, again from the BBC, that each year there were fewer and fewer animals and some kinds had completely disappeared from the face of the earth. This was also bad news for a thoughtful gnu and you too I bet.
Well, on the whole, Alfred thought zoos were probably not that bad an idea, at least till people stopped taking all the land away from animals who were there first. Zoos gave people a chance to see interesting animals from all over the world. They also gave the animals a chance to study up on humans though most of the animals in the zoos weren't the studying kind like Alfred Gnu.
All this thinking made Alfred hungry. After all he was still a pretty new gnu. Each day he grew and grew. Actually, Alfred was always hungry so he stopped by the local tourist picnic tables to see what they had left that day on their way to see the sleepy lions on duty over by the shade trees. Today's treats consisted of tuna fish which Alfred had the good taste to ignore, some bread which he liked a lot, part of a Baby Ruth candy bar which he also liked a lot, some milk, plus some grass to wash it all down with.
Then Alfred thought some more. "If zoos can protect animals, why can't I have a zoo? I could have a gnu zoo right here for all the baby gnus and show the bigger gnus how to stand watch too." Well, as I am sure you can imagine, this was harder than it seemed.
First, Alfred couldn't just talk to the gnus. Other than a few gnu words like: "Let's eat;" "There's some more grass over there;" and "Look out for the lions!" gnus couldn't get the hang of most communication like Alfred did, so he had to show the herd over and over again, which of course also made him very hungry.
When lions or hyenas were around, Alfred finally got the herd to circle up with the bigger gnus on the outside facing inward. Yes, inward. More than one gnu was taken before the herd got the hang of it and faced outward toward danger. The lions and hyenas didn't readily get the hang of it and many of them passed on the horns of this dilemma.
Alfred taught the herd, again with great difficulty, to travel by day and stand watch at night for all those other mean animals. Alfred's herd grew and grew and in its way was like a zoo protecting the herd. They were also pretty free to roam which was much better than a zoo too. But Alfred had taught them a very valuable lesson that many great leaders around the world have found out. "The price of liberty is eternal vigilance."
Some day you too might get to go to Africa. If you see a big herd, look for Alfred. He's the one with the two spots on his side who looks extra smart just like YOU!
by
Robin Hall
The BBC is known all over the world for its fair-minded, if somewhat dull, broadcasting of news, weather, some sports like soccer which they mistakenly called football and a few features about animals, especially dogs. The British are very fond of dogs.
Yesterday's featured story was about some improvements at the London zoo, one of the world's best known. What does this have to do with Alfred Gnu? Well, as you know, Alfred is still a pretty new gnu. Not as new as he was a few months ago when he was born or when he knew he knew but still, pretty new.
Alfred's goal was to learn all sorts of things by watching people and other animals because he couldn't go to gnu schools since there weren't any. There were radios though and many were tuned to the BBC since they had very powerful broadcasting towers all over, even in darkest Africa which wasn't really dark at all.
So Alfred would sneak up near tourist's or guide's tents and listen to the news. He had figured out several languages by now because of all the tourists. He knew Japanese, German, American English and 8 African languages. British English still gave him the occasional headache however but Alfred was very persistent and finally picked it right up along with South African and Australian English. Swahili was easier than English, even the American brand.
So yesterday's feature was on the fine zoo in London. Now this started Alfred thinking, which is a very good way to figure things out as he well knew. On the one hand, zoos seemed like animal jails. None of the animals were free to roam around, check out the tourists, eat new grass on the other side of streams or visit new places.
Alfred had seen people catch some of the animals for the zoos and haul them off. This didn't seem like fun to him either. People would usually shoot a funny gun at an animal and later it would just fall over. Then they would put the animal into a cage and away it went far from home, family and friends. This also seemed sad to Alfred.
On the other hand, Alfred knew, again from the BBC, that each year there were fewer and fewer animals and some kinds had completely disappeared from the face of the earth. This was also bad news for a thoughtful gnu and you too I bet.
Well, on the whole, Alfred thought zoos were probably not that bad an idea, at least till people stopped taking all the land away from animals who were there first. Zoos gave people a chance to see interesting animals from all over the world. They also gave the animals a chance to study up on humans though most of the animals in the zoos weren't the studying kind like Alfred Gnu.
All this thinking made Alfred hungry. After all he was still a pretty new gnu. Each day he grew and grew. Actually, Alfred was always hungry so he stopped by the local tourist picnic tables to see what they had left that day on their way to see the sleepy lions on duty over by the shade trees. Today's treats consisted of tuna fish which Alfred had the good taste to ignore, some bread which he liked a lot, part of a Baby Ruth candy bar which he also liked a lot, some milk, plus some grass to wash it all down with.
Then Alfred thought some more. "If zoos can protect animals, why can't I have a zoo? I could have a gnu zoo right here for all the baby gnus and show the bigger gnus how to stand watch too." Well, as I am sure you can imagine, this was harder than it seemed.
First, Alfred couldn't just talk to the gnus. Other than a few gnu words like: "Let's eat;" "There's some more grass over there;" and "Look out for the lions!" gnus couldn't get the hang of most communication like Alfred did, so he had to show the herd over and over again, which of course also made him very hungry.
When lions or hyenas were around, Alfred finally got the herd to circle up with the bigger gnus on the outside facing inward. Yes, inward. More than one gnu was taken before the herd got the hang of it and faced outward toward danger. The lions and hyenas didn't readily get the hang of it and many of them passed on the horns of this dilemma.
Alfred taught the herd, again with great difficulty, to travel by day and stand watch at night for all those other mean animals. Alfred's herd grew and grew and in its way was like a zoo protecting the herd. They were also pretty free to roam which was much better than a zoo too. But Alfred had taught them a very valuable lesson that many great leaders around the world have found out. "The price of liberty is eternal vigilance."
Some day you too might get to go to Africa. If you see a big herd, look for Alfred. He's the one with the two spots on his side who looks extra smart just like YOU!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Alfred Gnu: Three is Company Too
Alfred Gnu: Three is Company Too
by
Robin Hall
Most people in the world have sayings, slogans, old wives or old husbands tales and the like such as: “A waist is a terrible thing to mind.”; “A pig in your day keeps the doctors away.”; “He had more dollars than sense.” and “Two’s a company, three’s a crowd.” Sometimes there is even a shred of truth to these homilies. Sometimes not.
Take the last one for instance. For that matter, consider Umar and Hattie as well. Umar and Hattie had been friends for a long while. About 34 years in human time we might say. Actually it was more like 7 years in lion and chimpanzee time and gets pretty hard to figure out really.
One day Umar, a young lion, was wandering around looking for food when he spotted Hattie, a young chimp caught in the roots of a tree where she had fallen. Now of course most lions would think, “LUNCH!” and so did Umar but when he approached Hattie, an odd thing happened as it sometimes does. Hattie’s cries softened Umar’s heart and made him think about the world differently. He became conscious. At the same time, Hattie was so terrified the same thing happened to her from the impending stress of being eaten. She also became conscious.
The two looked at each other, got very calm and thought for a while, which is a good thing when you have revelations like these two did. Whew, thinking is hard work! Umar looked at Hattie, walked slowly over to the tree and pulled the root that had trapped her. Hattie ran up the tree and looked down at Umar. Then she climbed back down and the two went to look for water. This thinking was hard and hot work and the unlikely pair were quite thirsty. And so it went.
Each day found new adventures for Umar and Hattie, new challenges. Umar learned to eat some of the fruits Hattie liked and also learned to hunt only the very old and sick animals out in the wild which was good for the herd as well. They would rest during the hot part of the day, look for water in the evening and travel at night. It was a good match really. Each had different skills, watering holes etc. that they knew about and they were never without the necessities of life.
Most evenings Umar would roar loudly to scare other lions away and just because it was fun. Hattie would climb tall trees to check to see if this strategy was working and find which direction they needed to go to avoid other big animals and to find food and water.
If they did see another big cat, Hattie would fluff up Umar’s mane to make him look as big as possible and jump on his back to add to the spectacle. It was a sight few lions were prepared to challenge.
Life was good for our very strange couple. Then one day...
Well, Alfred was not at all fond of lions as you might imagine. First of all, lions liked gnus, for dinner especially. Now not many lions hung around Alfred’s herd anymore since Alfred had showed the others how to protect themselves in a circle with several of the bigger gnus always on watch and facing inward. Actually no lions stayed around long. There were no stragglers and the gnu babies were well protected. Hyenas also found other herds to graze on.
Umar and Hattie were almost as interested in learning new things as Alfred and when they spotted his herd where all the animals watched out for each other, they were most curious and decided to hang around for a while. They noticed one particular gnu with two spots on his side who would take off during the day and check out tourist haunts.
They also noticed that there was lots of interesting leftover food at these tourist haunts. “Hmmm,” they thought. “Let’s go in for a look see.” Well, they had no sooner gotten near one of these tourist haunts when they heard shots which were uncomfortably close. Umar and Hattie took off running with Hattie holding on to Umar’s mane for dear life. It was quite a sight.
The pair then noticed Alfred hiding out in the bushes and decided to watch him. Of course Alfred was MUCH more experienced in these matters and waited till the tourists and mean old guides with their guns left. Then Alfred moved in for the feast of sandwiches, milk, candy and whatever else the tourists left.
Umar and Hattie approached cautiously. The tourists had left a bonanza that day and Alfred had eaten his fill when he saw the imposing pair coming in. Alfred took off, dancing and prancing like some of the other silly gnus did. Actually the behavior was aimed at confusing their predators and getting their adrenaline up in case they needed to run but not many folks knew this.
Alfred was bouncing around and watching Umar and Hattie very closely. He had seen the pair for about a week now and knew something was unusual here. First off, lions and chimpanzees were enemies but these two were friends. Second, Umar didn’t look stupid like some lions did and Hattie WAS riding on his back.
Alfred’s curiosity got the best of him and he approached slowly and cautiously. Umar roared and Hattie jumped up and down but that was it. Then they all got down to the leftover food and sat around enjoying the sun when they were full. It was a great day.
The next morning, Umar and Hattie walked over to Alfred’s herd. Well, the herd circled up like they were supposed to and what was a lion doing out so early anyway and what in the world was that chimpanzee up to they might have wondered if they had the brains. Alfred wandered out slowly and trotted after the pair when they moved away for some new leftover treats from the tourists. The three had another great day foraging together.
That night when Alfred rejoined the herd, Umar and Hattie went off for a while then came back and sang to the herd as best they could. I suppose a lion’s roar and a chimp’s screamings were not exactly melodic but they did keep other predator’s away and the herd got used to their new protectors after a while.
Most days Alfred and his new friends would have adventures, listen to the BBC from the bushes near tourist haunts when they were there and eat leftovers when they left. It was great.
Sometimes Umar and Hattie would be gone for days but would always rejoin their new friend Alfred Gnu. You see, three’s a company too just like four or five can be if we want. We can have lots of friends of all sorts and still be ourselves too. Keep an eye open. New friends just might be looking for YOU.
by
Robin Hall
Most people in the world have sayings, slogans, old wives or old husbands tales and the like such as: “A waist is a terrible thing to mind.”; “A pig in your day keeps the doctors away.”; “He had more dollars than sense.” and “Two’s a company, three’s a crowd.” Sometimes there is even a shred of truth to these homilies. Sometimes not.
Take the last one for instance. For that matter, consider Umar and Hattie as well. Umar and Hattie had been friends for a long while. About 34 years in human time we might say. Actually it was more like 7 years in lion and chimpanzee time and gets pretty hard to figure out really.
One day Umar, a young lion, was wandering around looking for food when he spotted Hattie, a young chimp caught in the roots of a tree where she had fallen. Now of course most lions would think, “LUNCH!” and so did Umar but when he approached Hattie, an odd thing happened as it sometimes does. Hattie’s cries softened Umar’s heart and made him think about the world differently. He became conscious. At the same time, Hattie was so terrified the same thing happened to her from the impending stress of being eaten. She also became conscious.
The two looked at each other, got very calm and thought for a while, which is a good thing when you have revelations like these two did. Whew, thinking is hard work! Umar looked at Hattie, walked slowly over to the tree and pulled the root that had trapped her. Hattie ran up the tree and looked down at Umar. Then she climbed back down and the two went to look for water. This thinking was hard and hot work and the unlikely pair were quite thirsty. And so it went.
Each day found new adventures for Umar and Hattie, new challenges. Umar learned to eat some of the fruits Hattie liked and also learned to hunt only the very old and sick animals out in the wild which was good for the herd as well. They would rest during the hot part of the day, look for water in the evening and travel at night. It was a good match really. Each had different skills, watering holes etc. that they knew about and they were never without the necessities of life.
Most evenings Umar would roar loudly to scare other lions away and just because it was fun. Hattie would climb tall trees to check to see if this strategy was working and find which direction they needed to go to avoid other big animals and to find food and water.
If they did see another big cat, Hattie would fluff up Umar’s mane to make him look as big as possible and jump on his back to add to the spectacle. It was a sight few lions were prepared to challenge.
Life was good for our very strange couple. Then one day...
Well, Alfred was not at all fond of lions as you might imagine. First of all, lions liked gnus, for dinner especially. Now not many lions hung around Alfred’s herd anymore since Alfred had showed the others how to protect themselves in a circle with several of the bigger gnus always on watch and facing inward. Actually no lions stayed around long. There were no stragglers and the gnu babies were well protected. Hyenas also found other herds to graze on.
Umar and Hattie were almost as interested in learning new things as Alfred and when they spotted his herd where all the animals watched out for each other, they were most curious and decided to hang around for a while. They noticed one particular gnu with two spots on his side who would take off during the day and check out tourist haunts.
They also noticed that there was lots of interesting leftover food at these tourist haunts. “Hmmm,” they thought. “Let’s go in for a look see.” Well, they had no sooner gotten near one of these tourist haunts when they heard shots which were uncomfortably close. Umar and Hattie took off running with Hattie holding on to Umar’s mane for dear life. It was quite a sight.
The pair then noticed Alfred hiding out in the bushes and decided to watch him. Of course Alfred was MUCH more experienced in these matters and waited till the tourists and mean old guides with their guns left. Then Alfred moved in for the feast of sandwiches, milk, candy and whatever else the tourists left.
Umar and Hattie approached cautiously. The tourists had left a bonanza that day and Alfred had eaten his fill when he saw the imposing pair coming in. Alfred took off, dancing and prancing like some of the other silly gnus did. Actually the behavior was aimed at confusing their predators and getting their adrenaline up in case they needed to run but not many folks knew this.
Alfred was bouncing around and watching Umar and Hattie very closely. He had seen the pair for about a week now and knew something was unusual here. First off, lions and chimpanzees were enemies but these two were friends. Second, Umar didn’t look stupid like some lions did and Hattie WAS riding on his back.
Alfred’s curiosity got the best of him and he approached slowly and cautiously. Umar roared and Hattie jumped up and down but that was it. Then they all got down to the leftover food and sat around enjoying the sun when they were full. It was a great day.
The next morning, Umar and Hattie walked over to Alfred’s herd. Well, the herd circled up like they were supposed to and what was a lion doing out so early anyway and what in the world was that chimpanzee up to they might have wondered if they had the brains. Alfred wandered out slowly and trotted after the pair when they moved away for some new leftover treats from the tourists. The three had another great day foraging together.
That night when Alfred rejoined the herd, Umar and Hattie went off for a while then came back and sang to the herd as best they could. I suppose a lion’s roar and a chimp’s screamings were not exactly melodic but they did keep other predator’s away and the herd got used to their new protectors after a while.
Most days Alfred and his new friends would have adventures, listen to the BBC from the bushes near tourist haunts when they were there and eat leftovers when they left. It was great.
Sometimes Umar and Hattie would be gone for days but would always rejoin their new friend Alfred Gnu. You see, three’s a company too just like four or five can be if we want. We can have lots of friends of all sorts and still be ourselves too. Keep an eye open. New friends just might be looking for YOU.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Alfred Rides Again
Alfred Rides Again
by
Robin Hall
One day Alfred was inspecting bits of lunch left by some Japanese tourists who were visiting his part of the world in a Range Rover. The tourists were wandering here and there with Leicas around their necks shooting pictures of all the tame wild life. A huge herd of bewildered beasts was having one of their regular migrations. Japanese people loved migrations as much as any tourists do.
Actually it wasn’t a migration at all. The head bewildered beast was pondering some grass on the other side of a small stream and wandered over to see if it was tasty. He had forgotten how upset the others became when they couldn’t see him.
First one, then another began running after him. Of course, seeing a herd of bewildered beasts come charging over a stream was enough to frighten any animal and the head bewildered beast took off running too. Hence, the “migration” that our tourists were witnessing. It happened all the time.
Anyway, one of the little girls had climbed a tree near the Rover and was out on a limb right over the table set up for lunch that Alfred was still inspecting. Oopps, she fell right onto his back. Alfred, who had never seen TV westerns, thought the world was coming to an end and took off. While her parents were still taking pictures of the out of control wandering, the migration, the little girl was holding on for dear life and more.
After a bit, Alfred began to think clearly again. Then he stopped slowly, the girl got off, sat down and began to cry. She was exhausted and so was Alfred. What to do?? If anyone found out how smart Alfred was he might end up in one of those zoos he heard about on the BBC or worse, on Opra.
The little girl said, in very nice Japanese, “My name is Shoji.” She patted Alfred and he thought some more. He could see she was quite frightened and there was no way to get her on his back again. She winked at Alfred. Alfred winked back. The jig was up.
He knew he had to get her back to her parents safely so he started off in that direction. Shoji followed. When they got near and she saw her parents, Shoji politely thanked Alfred and ran off shouting that she had ridden a gnu for a long distance and then he had showed her the way back.
Alfred had hidden behind some trees and wasn’t visible. Like many parents they completely ignored the truth and the group went on to visit some ferocious sleeping lions the guide had seen earlier.
An interesting thing happened to the little girl though. She knew she was right. She knew she had ridden a gnu and the gnu had showed her back to safety. She knew that some animals are conscious. Shoji never told another person until years later when she had a daughter.
Shoji took her daughter to Africa for her sixth birthday present. She went to the same spot she had met Alfred. The two searched and searched, without luck.
Then late one day off in the distance, Shoji saw a gnu with two spots on its side just like Alfred’s. She and her daughter walked and walked. They got closer and closer. Alfred remembered that day as well as Shoji and happily took her daughter on the ride of her life and brought her back safely after a wonderful time.
It was quite a day and every one cried. They promised never to tell any of the boys because they couldn’t keep secrets. So the story of the smart gnu grew and grew in the family and is told even today, but only to the girls.
by
Robin Hall
One day Alfred was inspecting bits of lunch left by some Japanese tourists who were visiting his part of the world in a Range Rover. The tourists were wandering here and there with Leicas around their necks shooting pictures of all the tame wild life. A huge herd of bewildered beasts was having one of their regular migrations. Japanese people loved migrations as much as any tourists do.
Actually it wasn’t a migration at all. The head bewildered beast was pondering some grass on the other side of a small stream and wandered over to see if it was tasty. He had forgotten how upset the others became when they couldn’t see him.
First one, then another began running after him. Of course, seeing a herd of bewildered beasts come charging over a stream was enough to frighten any animal and the head bewildered beast took off running too. Hence, the “migration” that our tourists were witnessing. It happened all the time.
Anyway, one of the little girls had climbed a tree near the Rover and was out on a limb right over the table set up for lunch that Alfred was still inspecting. Oopps, she fell right onto his back. Alfred, who had never seen TV westerns, thought the world was coming to an end and took off. While her parents were still taking pictures of the out of control wandering, the migration, the little girl was holding on for dear life and more.
After a bit, Alfred began to think clearly again. Then he stopped slowly, the girl got off, sat down and began to cry. She was exhausted and so was Alfred. What to do?? If anyone found out how smart Alfred was he might end up in one of those zoos he heard about on the BBC or worse, on Opra.
The little girl said, in very nice Japanese, “My name is Shoji.” She patted Alfred and he thought some more. He could see she was quite frightened and there was no way to get her on his back again. She winked at Alfred. Alfred winked back. The jig was up.
He knew he had to get her back to her parents safely so he started off in that direction. Shoji followed. When they got near and she saw her parents, Shoji politely thanked Alfred and ran off shouting that she had ridden a gnu for a long distance and then he had showed her the way back.
Alfred had hidden behind some trees and wasn’t visible. Like many parents they completely ignored the truth and the group went on to visit some ferocious sleeping lions the guide had seen earlier.
An interesting thing happened to the little girl though. She knew she was right. She knew she had ridden a gnu and the gnu had showed her back to safety. She knew that some animals are conscious. Shoji never told another person until years later when she had a daughter.
Shoji took her daughter to Africa for her sixth birthday present. She went to the same spot she had met Alfred. The two searched and searched, without luck.
Then late one day off in the distance, Shoji saw a gnu with two spots on its side just like Alfred’s. She and her daughter walked and walked. They got closer and closer. Alfred remembered that day as well as Shoji and happily took her daughter on the ride of her life and brought her back safely after a wonderful time.
It was quite a day and every one cried. They promised never to tell any of the boys because they couldn’t keep secrets. So the story of the smart gnu grew and grew in the family and is told even today, but only to the girls.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Philbert the Smart Cow
Philbert the Smart Cow
by
Robin Hall
Most cows spend their days eating grass, chewing their cud and mooing. So did Philbert. But he preferred humming to mooing. Oh, mooing was OK in front of people-Philbert knew enough not to let on how smart he was when humans were near, but out in the pasture, Philbert was more likely to hum Bach than moo.
Philbert was very fond of humming Three Blind Mice and Old MacDonald, and very late at night, if no people were in the barn, Philbert would cut loose with Greensleeves, Its a Small World and Looby Loo. Philbert loved all sorts of music, especially the blues.
And Philbert loved to think: about how to make life better for cows and other animals and people. If only people would love animals and each other more, maybe things would be better.
Perhaps some young child could read about animals and remember that they can have feelings just like Philbert and begin to think about the world differently. Perhaps they might even change some of those things. And perhaps, just perhaps, that child is YOU!
by
Robin Hall
Most cows spend their days eating grass, chewing their cud and mooing. So did Philbert. But he preferred humming to mooing. Oh, mooing was OK in front of people-Philbert knew enough not to let on how smart he was when humans were near, but out in the pasture, Philbert was more likely to hum Bach than moo.
Philbert was very fond of humming Three Blind Mice and Old MacDonald, and very late at night, if no people were in the barn, Philbert would cut loose with Greensleeves, Its a Small World and Looby Loo. Philbert loved all sorts of music, especially the blues.
And Philbert loved to think: about how to make life better for cows and other animals and people. If only people would love animals and each other more, maybe things would be better.
Perhaps some young child could read about animals and remember that they can have feelings just like Philbert and begin to think about the world differently. Perhaps they might even change some of those things. And perhaps, just perhaps, that child is YOU!
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Horace Goes to School
Horace Goes to School
by
Robin Hall
Horace’s excellent neighbor Miss Poppy knew a secret she shared with only 4 other people in the whole wide world. She knew that Horace was an unusually nice zebra mule, which wasn't a secret. She also knew that he was curious just like you and I. He really understood what everyone was talking about which was more than could be said of lots of people.
Miss Poppy set her fine Flat TV up so Horace could watch any time he wanted, which was quite often. Watching TV was a good way to learn English as many foreigners have found out. There were educational shows on too. English as a second language was on Channel 75 and Horace watched it every day.
Now many of you might wonder how a zebra mule could watch TV and Channel 75 in particular but it was no trick. Miss Poppy had put a remote control in a plastic bag and set it outside the window where Horace watched from. She also put a cut off wooden cooking spoon there so Horace could change channels. Horace loved changing channels just like most men. He also liked watching the whole program too. Horace was a well rounded individual.
After several weeks of ESL, Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers, Horace moved on to more challenging shows like Oprah, Jenny and Hollywood Squares. Next he took a shine to Jeopardy which was a challenge indeed. Horace suspected Alex Trebek didn't’t really know the all the answers like he pretended to.
Horace enjoyed National Geographic programs, W.C. Fields movies, Cracker and the Nanny. The first Francis the Talking Mule series was also interesting and Horace wished he could talk too. Now this started Horace thinking and thinking. “I know I can’t talk but I can learn things and I bet that Internet Peter Jennings mentioned on ABC news, is just the thing.”
Hmmm. What to do? One day Horace and Miss Poppy were watching a CNNFn report about Internet stocks which Miss Poppy owned many of AND sold just in time.
Horace changed to Shopping Channel, then back to the Internet report he had recorded earlier. Miss Poppy threw her socks at Horace but he kept changing the channels. She threw TV Guide without any results either. Then she thought a bit. The Internet!!! “Horace, do you want to have the Internet so you can keep learning?” Horace nodded quickly.
Well, luckily Miss Poppy had plenty of money, in part due to selling the Internet stock short at just the right time. She also the satellite antenna already in place. She called the workpeople, Marshall and Mathilda Morse who were having some trademark differences with Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing and they got to work.
Miss Poppy liked the couple even thought they bickered a lot. They were very careful workers for one thing. They worked hard too, kept up to date on all the new things, never gossiped about their clients and they didn't’t ask questions like why Miss Poppy would want 2 satellite Internet set ups, one for the house and one for the barn.
They also didn't’t ask why she wanted an odd door put on the back of the barn or why she wanted such a funny table built near the window. They just did as they were told like the good workpeople they were. They charged a decent wage. Miss Poppy paid cash. Everyone was happy.
First Miss Poppy called several friends to ask about hardware and software. She checked the library for Consumer Reports and PC World, then she called Dell, HP and Gateway. She also checked ConsumerSearch .
She chose Dell and ordered 2 of everything they needed. When the boxes arrived Marshall and Mathilda came back to install the gear and fine-tune the antenna. They put huge APC battery back UPS on both computers, installed the virus scanners and firewalls, updated them and went home.
Later Miss Poppy showed Horace how to get in the back door of the barn, turn on the computer and reminded him to scan disk and defrag once a week which he did. She also brought another cut-off kitchen spoon and put a clear plastic cover over the keyboard since Horace tended to slobber a bit. Miss Poppy walked out and shut the door. Horace stared at the fine 21" flat panel screen and brayed happily.
Horace slowly typed " search engines " into the Google Toolbar because one of the programs on TV said that’s how to find things. There were many choices but three caught his eye:
Google
Answers.com
Jux2, Comparison Searching. And so the search began.
He asked questions at Answers.com . Then he typed “ online schools ” into
Google. WOW. There were schools everywhere teaching everything Horace ever wanted to know. Miss Poppy had told him he could use her Visa Card for software, tuition and books so he did.
Horace could now talk to Miss Poppy using the keyboard. He asked if he could sign up for a subscription to
LexisNexis . "Sure, but only the basic subscription for now." Horace brayed his thanks.
Horace signed up for some basic computer and Internet tutorials. When he had to put in a name, he was stumped. There were 3 spaces. A first name, middle initial and last name. Horace only had one name, Horace. “Hmmm. Well, most people think I am a mule but that doesn't’t help here. Aha!!” he thought. He began typing. Horace M. Ule, 698 Melody Lane, Music Valley, SG 555047.
After some initial mistakes and dead ends, Horace sent for information on how to get his GED. He signed up for the course. Soon the books arrived and the courses started. Horace had trouble turning pages and rumpled more than a few until one day Miss Poppy saw the books and put a rubber tip on one of his wooden spoons. Plus she cleaned the plastic cover on the keyboard.
Learning was wonderful. The world was at his fingertips, er, well teeth and spoon anyway. Horace quickly learned you don’t have to be seeking a degree to be able to learn and he just took courses that interested him. He did quite well in them too.
You know, that is the way of the world. Most anyone can learn most anything today. You don’t have to dress up for classes either. Why you can come to class just like Horace, in the backdoor in his birthday clothes if you like. You don’t have to be able to talk either, just be curious like Horace and want to learn because its fun.
Horace soon began making friends on the Internet too. Some were from his classes and some were from the Yahoo game site where Horace was learning bridge from a deaf girl who lived in Mattoon, IL.
Horace began sleeping in the barn and would sign on at all hours since he mostly catnapped so to speak. His online adventures were almost like real life ones.
He made many friends that he would probably never see in real life. No one would know that their friend was a zebra mule either. Horace didn't know what his friends looked like.
It didn't matter either as long as everyone was nice and interesting. Why I bet you might have played a game somewhere on the Internet with a wonderfully curious zebra mule named Horace or maybe with a pig named Snorfle and you never knew it.
Life online. What a wonderful concept for a curious zebra mule on Melody Lane in Music Valley.
by
Robin Hall
Horace’s excellent neighbor Miss Poppy knew a secret she shared with only 4 other people in the whole wide world. She knew that Horace was an unusually nice zebra mule, which wasn't a secret. She also knew that he was curious just like you and I. He really understood what everyone was talking about which was more than could be said of lots of people.
Miss Poppy set her fine Flat TV up so Horace could watch any time he wanted, which was quite often. Watching TV was a good way to learn English as many foreigners have found out. There were educational shows on too. English as a second language was on Channel 75 and Horace watched it every day.
Now many of you might wonder how a zebra mule could watch TV and Channel 75 in particular but it was no trick. Miss Poppy had put a remote control in a plastic bag and set it outside the window where Horace watched from. She also put a cut off wooden cooking spoon there so Horace could change channels. Horace loved changing channels just like most men. He also liked watching the whole program too. Horace was a well rounded individual.
After several weeks of ESL, Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers, Horace moved on to more challenging shows like Oprah, Jenny and Hollywood Squares. Next he took a shine to Jeopardy which was a challenge indeed. Horace suspected Alex Trebek didn't’t really know the all the answers like he pretended to.
Horace enjoyed National Geographic programs, W.C. Fields movies, Cracker and the Nanny. The first Francis the Talking Mule series was also interesting and Horace wished he could talk too. Now this started Horace thinking and thinking. “I know I can’t talk but I can learn things and I bet that Internet Peter Jennings mentioned on ABC news, is just the thing.”
Hmmm. What to do? One day Horace and Miss Poppy were watching a CNNFn report about Internet stocks which Miss Poppy owned many of AND sold just in time.
Horace changed to Shopping Channel, then back to the Internet report he had recorded earlier. Miss Poppy threw her socks at Horace but he kept changing the channels. She threw TV Guide without any results either. Then she thought a bit. The Internet!!! “Horace, do you want to have the Internet so you can keep learning?” Horace nodded quickly.
Well, luckily Miss Poppy had plenty of money, in part due to selling the Internet stock short at just the right time. She also the satellite antenna already in place. She called the workpeople, Marshall and Mathilda Morse who were having some trademark differences with Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing and they got to work.
Miss Poppy liked the couple even thought they bickered a lot. They were very careful workers for one thing. They worked hard too, kept up to date on all the new things, never gossiped about their clients and they didn't’t ask questions like why Miss Poppy would want 2 satellite Internet set ups, one for the house and one for the barn.
They also didn't’t ask why she wanted an odd door put on the back of the barn or why she wanted such a funny table built near the window. They just did as they were told like the good workpeople they were. They charged a decent wage. Miss Poppy paid cash. Everyone was happy.
First Miss Poppy called several friends to ask about hardware and software. She checked the library for Consumer Reports and PC World, then she called Dell, HP and Gateway. She also checked ConsumerSearch .
She chose Dell and ordered 2 of everything they needed. When the boxes arrived Marshall and Mathilda came back to install the gear and fine-tune the antenna. They put huge APC battery back UPS on both computers, installed the virus scanners and firewalls, updated them and went home.
Later Miss Poppy showed Horace how to get in the back door of the barn, turn on the computer and reminded him to scan disk and defrag once a week which he did. She also brought another cut-off kitchen spoon and put a clear plastic cover over the keyboard since Horace tended to slobber a bit. Miss Poppy walked out and shut the door. Horace stared at the fine 21" flat panel screen and brayed happily.
Horace slowly typed " search engines " into the Google Toolbar because one of the programs on TV said that’s how to find things. There were many choices but three caught his eye:
Answers.com
Jux2, Comparison Searching. And so the search began.
He asked questions at Answers.com . Then he typed “ online schools ” into
Google. WOW. There were schools everywhere teaching everything Horace ever wanted to know. Miss Poppy had told him he could use her Visa Card for software, tuition and books so he did.
Horace could now talk to Miss Poppy using the keyboard. He asked if he could sign up for a subscription to
LexisNexis . "Sure, but only the basic subscription for now." Horace brayed his thanks.
Horace signed up for some basic computer and Internet tutorials. When he had to put in a name, he was stumped. There were 3 spaces. A first name, middle initial and last name. Horace only had one name, Horace. “Hmmm. Well, most people think I am a mule but that doesn't’t help here. Aha!!” he thought. He began typing. Horace M. Ule, 698 Melody Lane, Music Valley, SG 555047.
After some initial mistakes and dead ends, Horace sent for information on how to get his GED. He signed up for the course. Soon the books arrived and the courses started. Horace had trouble turning pages and rumpled more than a few until one day Miss Poppy saw the books and put a rubber tip on one of his wooden spoons. Plus she cleaned the plastic cover on the keyboard.
Learning was wonderful. The world was at his fingertips, er, well teeth and spoon anyway. Horace quickly learned you don’t have to be seeking a degree to be able to learn and he just took courses that interested him. He did quite well in them too.
You know, that is the way of the world. Most anyone can learn most anything today. You don’t have to dress up for classes either. Why you can come to class just like Horace, in the backdoor in his birthday clothes if you like. You don’t have to be able to talk either, just be curious like Horace and want to learn because its fun.
Horace soon began making friends on the Internet too. Some were from his classes and some were from the Yahoo game site where Horace was learning bridge from a deaf girl who lived in Mattoon, IL.
Horace began sleeping in the barn and would sign on at all hours since he mostly catnapped so to speak. His online adventures were almost like real life ones.
He made many friends that he would probably never see in real life. No one would know that their friend was a zebra mule either. Horace didn't know what his friends looked like.
It didn't matter either as long as everyone was nice and interesting. Why I bet you might have played a game somewhere on the Internet with a wonderfully curious zebra mule named Horace or maybe with a pig named Snorfle and you never knew it.
Life online. What a wonderful concept for a curious zebra mule on Melody Lane in Music Valley.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Pelican Tales:WindSinger Wssssssshhhh
Pelican Tales:WindSinger Wssssssshhhh
by
Robin Hall
Most folks don't seem to notice wind all that much. Big winds, little winds, are all the same unless its tornadoes, monsoons, hurricanes, or himmicanes for the politically correct. Say, what does politics have to do with wind? Heh, heh. Lots of those politicians are windy indeed. Many other Floridians are windy, politicians or not. Cows are blamed for being so windy they are upsetting the ozone layer. Hippopotamuses, dogs, platypuses, gnus and orangutans are also windy and I suspect cats are windy. Well, I say nuts to that. Er, this is pretty silly so I will get on with the story.
As you can imagine, most any real wind plays a big part in the lives of pelicans. AwwAww's group was very lucky in this matter to have a master WindSinger, Wssssssshhhh. A WindSinger's job is very important so let's just go back a bit in time and learn about Wssssssshhhh and her earlier years. Just get comfortable, relax, close your eyes, listen, Imagine...
In the Dark Before Time, pelicans were just another plain bird among the many species. They were even food for some of the larger birds. They wandered about in small groups just trying to survive. There were many losses. The groups learned numerous hard lessons.
Over the eons however, something happened to the gathering. Perhaps it was their chosen food that had just the right nutrients. Perhaps there was genetic change from random sun rays. Perhaps there were some other reasons. The glorious Change happened whatever the cause, a change not unlike that of other groups. Whereas before there was only chaos, the Light of reason came to pelicans. They had choices to make, as we all do.
Pelicans already had the wonderful gift of flight. It was enough really but they worked hard and chose the pursuit of beauty as their other main purpose. Within this choice there were and are even now, hundreds of more choices. Today, AwwAww is most beauty conscious. Owwa is First Sounder whose exquisite tunes keep the flock together flying in sync, calling them to rest at night, praising them and reminding them who they are. The beautiful Eayawa, Dream Leader, watches over the wonderful ritual of Dream Sharing.
Other forms of beauty are pursued as well, even completely new forms, which brings to Wssssssshhhh. She was born 5 years ago, a rather plain little bird. Nothing unusual really. Another mouth to feed. A fine member of the group of course but that was all. Sometimes the plain members of any group take their own time, dance and sing to a different drummer or make their own music and sing that.
Wssssssshhhh. Her name was strange, like a whisper of wind in the sea grapes. Wssssssshhhh. Wssssssshhhh.
When Wssssssshhhh was quite small her parents and flight instructor, the powerful Waaaaaaaann, noticed that Wssssssshhhh did have quite a knack for flying. She learned very quickly for one thing. Not all that unusual but there was more. Wssssssshhhh could float longer than any bird in memory. She was somewhat small of course but Waaaaaaaann noticed that Wssssssshhhh also had a much longer wing span than other youngsters. Some of the feathers were placed differently as well and were smoother. Odd, but no one thought much of it for a while.
Other traits showed up over time though. Wssssssshhhh could somehow sense when a big wind was coming. Even the elders began to pay attention when one day she sounded frantically and called the group to shelter. A great storm no one had known about hit very quickly but the flock was saved many losses due to this small young bird.
The group also noticed things like Wssssssshhhh's ability to take off more quickly than others. She could soar for hours and knew just which air currents to follow like she could see the wind itself. Wssssssshhhh could see the wind and more. She could hear it and she could sing to it and change its course, if ever so slightly, which brings us back to today.
Wssssssshhhh, WindSinger, sails the winds like the master she has become. She watches her flock in flight and on the ground. In flight, she guides them through the air currents, finds the right updrafts to save them energy and leads them in patterns of splendor while Owwa sounds the beat.
On the ground, she watches the weather and warns the group of storms and winds so all may be safe.
Wssssssshhhh, WindSinger, flies alone too. She flies faster and farther than any pelican ever has with her friend the Wind. The two sing songs to each other. Songs of beauty, songs of speed, songs of distant places and times. WindSinger Wssssssshhhh moves with the grace of a cloud and the speed of a hawk.
WindSinger Wssssssshhhh, master of the beauty of FLIGHT and friend of Wind sails high and far and back never tiring, awe inspiring Wssssssshhhh WindSinger moving through the air as a dolphin in the sea. WindSinger Wssssssshhhh. Look, there she is. Wssssssshhhh. Wssssssshhhh. Wssssssshhhh flying in your own thoughts too. Just imagine yourself in her flock of pelicans sailing far and wide, singing to the wind, seeing the currents, floating for hours.
Return to your place now. Stretch, yawn. Slowly open your eyes. Smile. Remember FLIGHT master, WindSinger Wssssssshhhh. Come back to her another time. Bring your own tales of beauty. Sail with Wssssssshhhh when you wishhhhhh...
by
Robin Hall
Most folks don't seem to notice wind all that much. Big winds, little winds, are all the same unless its tornadoes, monsoons, hurricanes, or himmicanes for the politically correct. Say, what does politics have to do with wind? Heh, heh. Lots of those politicians are windy indeed. Many other Floridians are windy, politicians or not. Cows are blamed for being so windy they are upsetting the ozone layer. Hippopotamuses, dogs, platypuses, gnus and orangutans are also windy and I suspect cats are windy. Well, I say nuts to that. Er, this is pretty silly so I will get on with the story.
As you can imagine, most any real wind plays a big part in the lives of pelicans. AwwAww's group was very lucky in this matter to have a master WindSinger, Wssssssshhhh. A WindSinger's job is very important so let's just go back a bit in time and learn about Wssssssshhhh and her earlier years. Just get comfortable, relax, close your eyes, listen, Imagine...
In the Dark Before Time, pelicans were just another plain bird among the many species. They were even food for some of the larger birds. They wandered about in small groups just trying to survive. There were many losses. The groups learned numerous hard lessons.
Over the eons however, something happened to the gathering. Perhaps it was their chosen food that had just the right nutrients. Perhaps there was genetic change from random sun rays. Perhaps there were some other reasons. The glorious Change happened whatever the cause, a change not unlike that of other groups. Whereas before there was only chaos, the Light of reason came to pelicans. They had choices to make, as we all do.
Pelicans already had the wonderful gift of flight. It was enough really but they worked hard and chose the pursuit of beauty as their other main purpose. Within this choice there were and are even now, hundreds of more choices. Today, AwwAww is most beauty conscious. Owwa is First Sounder whose exquisite tunes keep the flock together flying in sync, calling them to rest at night, praising them and reminding them who they are. The beautiful Eayawa, Dream Leader, watches over the wonderful ritual of Dream Sharing.
Other forms of beauty are pursued as well, even completely new forms, which brings to Wssssssshhhh. She was born 5 years ago, a rather plain little bird. Nothing unusual really. Another mouth to feed. A fine member of the group of course but that was all. Sometimes the plain members of any group take their own time, dance and sing to a different drummer or make their own music and sing that.
Wssssssshhhh. Her name was strange, like a whisper of wind in the sea grapes. Wssssssshhhh. Wssssssshhhh.
When Wssssssshhhh was quite small her parents and flight instructor, the powerful Waaaaaaaann, noticed that Wssssssshhhh did have quite a knack for flying. She learned very quickly for one thing. Not all that unusual but there was more. Wssssssshhhh could float longer than any bird in memory. She was somewhat small of course but Waaaaaaaann noticed that Wssssssshhhh also had a much longer wing span than other youngsters. Some of the feathers were placed differently as well and were smoother. Odd, but no one thought much of it for a while.
Other traits showed up over time though. Wssssssshhhh could somehow sense when a big wind was coming. Even the elders began to pay attention when one day she sounded frantically and called the group to shelter. A great storm no one had known about hit very quickly but the flock was saved many losses due to this small young bird.
The group also noticed things like Wssssssshhhh's ability to take off more quickly than others. She could soar for hours and knew just which air currents to follow like she could see the wind itself. Wssssssshhhh could see the wind and more. She could hear it and she could sing to it and change its course, if ever so slightly, which brings us back to today.
Wssssssshhhh, WindSinger, sails the winds like the master she has become. She watches her flock in flight and on the ground. In flight, she guides them through the air currents, finds the right updrafts to save them energy and leads them in patterns of splendor while Owwa sounds the beat.
On the ground, she watches the weather and warns the group of storms and winds so all may be safe.
Wssssssshhhh, WindSinger, flies alone too. She flies faster and farther than any pelican ever has with her friend the Wind. The two sing songs to each other. Songs of beauty, songs of speed, songs of distant places and times. WindSinger Wssssssshhhh moves with the grace of a cloud and the speed of a hawk.
WindSinger Wssssssshhhh, master of the beauty of FLIGHT and friend of Wind sails high and far and back never tiring, awe inspiring Wssssssshhhh WindSinger moving through the air as a dolphin in the sea. WindSinger Wssssssshhhh. Look, there she is. Wssssssshhhh. Wssssssshhhh. Wssssssshhhh flying in your own thoughts too. Just imagine yourself in her flock of pelicans sailing far and wide, singing to the wind, seeing the currents, floating for hours.
Return to your place now. Stretch, yawn. Slowly open your eyes. Smile. Remember FLIGHT master, WindSinger Wssssssshhhh. Come back to her another time. Bring your own tales of beauty. Sail with Wssssssshhhh when you wishhhhhh...
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Horace Learns to Dance
Horace Learns to Dance
by
Robin Hall
One day Horace was curious about a funny smell in the morning breeze. He sneezed twice, almost fell over and scared the daylights out of that mean cat Phyllis when he barely missed stepping on her tail. The mice all laughed and Horace’ cow friends mooed in appreciation. It was the beginning of another day in Music Valley.
After some oats, water and blue cornflowers that were growing behind the barn Horace followed his nose to the funny smell. He came to a clearing with a broken down house and a hill covered with kudzu. Horace sniffed the kudzu, he was usually hungry and always on the lookout for a new snack but kudzu wasn’t snack food for zebra mules like Horace which was too bad since there was so much of it.
Then a strange thing happened over by a mound of the ever present weed. Bees came flying out of the middle of the hill. Lots of bees. Really lots of bees. They were everywhere. Horace stood still. He knew bees and had been stung a few times. Being curious has some drawbacks, he remembered.
Anyway, the bees didn’t notice him standing there. Horace was a zebra mule after all. Zebra’s stripes help them blend into the scenery so no one can see them, especially lions. The bees danced happily in the air. First one bee moved and swooped around. Then some more followed and finally the whole herd of bees were flying around. It was quite a sight.
The bees danced like that for 7 minutes then went back into the hill of kudzu. Horace walked home wondering about what he had seen. Dancing bees.
The next day, Horace was watching Flat TV at Miss Poppy’s house. A Gene Kelly movie was playing. There was singing all over the place, even in the rain. And lots of dancing. Horace was entranced.
Miss Poppy was dancing and singing too. She had memorized all the tunes and steps and was very good indeed. It was wonderful. There were lots of interesting people in the movie too, and one, Donald O’Connor, who looked strangely familiar as did Debbie Reynolds who looked a lot like Princess Leia from the Star Wars movies Miss Poppy and Horace watched last week.
This dancing was exciting and Horace was very curious as ever. He decided to study up on dancing. But where to go? Horace couldn’t type, so the internet was out. He couldn't’t go to the library either. He tried that one day and the librarian got quite upset and threw a copy of War and Peace at Horace. Luckily Horace ducked and the book landed on the steps by the door.
Hmmmmm. Horace thought and thought, which is what people, zebra mules and other curious beings do a lot of when they are stumped or just curious. Another thing lots of curious folks do when they are thinking, is to walk. Horace was fond of walking anyway and it was good exercise, so off he went.
First, Horace walked to the end of Music Valley. “I will start at the beginning,” Horace thought. He walked for miles and miles thinking and thinking about dancing. Horace hummed a bit when it started to rain, just like the movie. There were cornflowers everywhere and lots of little streams, so Horace didn’t have to worry about nourishment while he was thinking about dancing. He would hum, eat cornflowers and take drinks from whichever stream was near. He walked and walked and thought and thought. Dancing, what a concept!!
Later in the day Horace was passing a small house with another little building in the back. There was music and laughter. Horace investigated. “Horace, DI, Dancing Investigator, on the job,” he thought. The window on the little building was just about right for Horace to look inside. Over against the far wall there was a boom box where the music played. The teacher, as Horace guessed because she was just a bit taller and older looking, was wearing very tight fitting clothes as were the boys and girls. This was curious. Horace investigated some more.
They were all stretching and bouncing around and giggling. Then the teacher got their attention. Everyone got quiet and class began. There were lots of things where everyone just seemed to follow the teacher. Then the class paired off and danced together. Then everyone just danced alone. There was lots more giggling too. Some of the children were new and more than a few fell over or tripped. One stubbed his toe and cried while the teacher consoled him.
Then someone saw Horace and shouted. Everyone ran outside and Horace started to trot off but the teacher called his name. Horace stopped and turned around. He hadn’t noticed before but the teacher looked a lot like Miss Poppy. “Class,” Miss Betsy Jo Twilling Rose said, “this is Horace. He is a friend of my sister Poppy.” Most of the students came over and patted Horace gently, which he quite liked. Miss Betsy Jo brought out some sugar cubes for Horace and told him he could watch dancing anytime he wanted. Then she called the students back to class. Horace watched for a bit more then walked home as it was almost time for dinner.
On the way, his steps were just a little lighter it seemed. It was nice to have some new friends. He had met Miss Poppy’s sister, Betsy Jo and her class and had learned a step or two which he practiced after dinner while his cow friends mooed a tune for him. It was an excellent day. Horace went back to the school often just to be with his new friends and learn a few new steps.
“Curiosity,” Horace thought later that afternoon, “is a pretty good thing. I learned about dancing, met new people and had fun.” Horace knew he wouldn't’t be a great dancer like that Kelly fellow. He also knew that you can learn and do things just because they are fun. “Dancing is for everyone,” Horace thought. “And that’s the way of things here in Music Valley and everywhere. We can do lots of things that are fun even if we won’t ever be in the movies or win awards. Fun is its own reward.” Horace brayed softly with the cows for a while as he usually did each night. Then he went to sleep.
Another day on the farm at Music Valley came to a close. The sun set behind Mount High Note, the air stilled and quietly everyone went to sleep. Some, like Horace, had a smile on their face because they had learned something new and wonderful.
by
Robin Hall
One day Horace was curious about a funny smell in the morning breeze. He sneezed twice, almost fell over and scared the daylights out of that mean cat Phyllis when he barely missed stepping on her tail. The mice all laughed and Horace’ cow friends mooed in appreciation. It was the beginning of another day in Music Valley.
After some oats, water and blue cornflowers that were growing behind the barn Horace followed his nose to the funny smell. He came to a clearing with a broken down house and a hill covered with kudzu. Horace sniffed the kudzu, he was usually hungry and always on the lookout for a new snack but kudzu wasn’t snack food for zebra mules like Horace which was too bad since there was so much of it.
Then a strange thing happened over by a mound of the ever present weed. Bees came flying out of the middle of the hill. Lots of bees. Really lots of bees. They were everywhere. Horace stood still. He knew bees and had been stung a few times. Being curious has some drawbacks, he remembered.
Anyway, the bees didn’t notice him standing there. Horace was a zebra mule after all. Zebra’s stripes help them blend into the scenery so no one can see them, especially lions. The bees danced happily in the air. First one bee moved and swooped around. Then some more followed and finally the whole herd of bees were flying around. It was quite a sight.
The bees danced like that for 7 minutes then went back into the hill of kudzu. Horace walked home wondering about what he had seen. Dancing bees.
The next day, Horace was watching Flat TV at Miss Poppy’s house. A Gene Kelly movie was playing. There was singing all over the place, even in the rain. And lots of dancing. Horace was entranced.
Miss Poppy was dancing and singing too. She had memorized all the tunes and steps and was very good indeed. It was wonderful. There were lots of interesting people in the movie too, and one, Donald O’Connor, who looked strangely familiar as did Debbie Reynolds who looked a lot like Princess Leia from the Star Wars movies Miss Poppy and Horace watched last week.
This dancing was exciting and Horace was very curious as ever. He decided to study up on dancing. But where to go? Horace couldn’t type, so the internet was out. He couldn't’t go to the library either. He tried that one day and the librarian got quite upset and threw a copy of War and Peace at Horace. Luckily Horace ducked and the book landed on the steps by the door.
Hmmmmm. Horace thought and thought, which is what people, zebra mules and other curious beings do a lot of when they are stumped or just curious. Another thing lots of curious folks do when they are thinking, is to walk. Horace was fond of walking anyway and it was good exercise, so off he went.
First, Horace walked to the end of Music Valley. “I will start at the beginning,” Horace thought. He walked for miles and miles thinking and thinking about dancing. Horace hummed a bit when it started to rain, just like the movie. There were cornflowers everywhere and lots of little streams, so Horace didn’t have to worry about nourishment while he was thinking about dancing. He would hum, eat cornflowers and take drinks from whichever stream was near. He walked and walked and thought and thought. Dancing, what a concept!!
Later in the day Horace was passing a small house with another little building in the back. There was music and laughter. Horace investigated. “Horace, DI, Dancing Investigator, on the job,” he thought. The window on the little building was just about right for Horace to look inside. Over against the far wall there was a boom box where the music played. The teacher, as Horace guessed because she was just a bit taller and older looking, was wearing very tight fitting clothes as were the boys and girls. This was curious. Horace investigated some more.
They were all stretching and bouncing around and giggling. Then the teacher got their attention. Everyone got quiet and class began. There were lots of things where everyone just seemed to follow the teacher. Then the class paired off and danced together. Then everyone just danced alone. There was lots more giggling too. Some of the children were new and more than a few fell over or tripped. One stubbed his toe and cried while the teacher consoled him.
Then someone saw Horace and shouted. Everyone ran outside and Horace started to trot off but the teacher called his name. Horace stopped and turned around. He hadn’t noticed before but the teacher looked a lot like Miss Poppy. “Class,” Miss Betsy Jo Twilling Rose said, “this is Horace. He is a friend of my sister Poppy.” Most of the students came over and patted Horace gently, which he quite liked. Miss Betsy Jo brought out some sugar cubes for Horace and told him he could watch dancing anytime he wanted. Then she called the students back to class. Horace watched for a bit more then walked home as it was almost time for dinner.
On the way, his steps were just a little lighter it seemed. It was nice to have some new friends. He had met Miss Poppy’s sister, Betsy Jo and her class and had learned a step or two which he practiced after dinner while his cow friends mooed a tune for him. It was an excellent day. Horace went back to the school often just to be with his new friends and learn a few new steps.
“Curiosity,” Horace thought later that afternoon, “is a pretty good thing. I learned about dancing, met new people and had fun.” Horace knew he wouldn't’t be a great dancer like that Kelly fellow. He also knew that you can learn and do things just because they are fun. “Dancing is for everyone,” Horace thought. “And that’s the way of things here in Music Valley and everywhere. We can do lots of things that are fun even if we won’t ever be in the movies or win awards. Fun is its own reward.” Horace brayed softly with the cows for a while as he usually did each night. Then he went to sleep.
Another day on the farm at Music Valley came to a close. The sun set behind Mount High Note, the air stilled and quietly everyone went to sleep. Some, like Horace, had a smile on their face because they had learned something new and wonderful.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Snorfle @ Home
Snorfle @ Home
by
Robin Hall
On his first day home alone in his new house, Snorfle woke up early. He was confused for a while, but Cary, Jerry, Mary and Red Cherry woke up too and they all had breakfast. The Cherrys had whole wheat and soy pancakes with cottage cheese and blueberry sauce, oranges, strawberries and skim milk. Snorfle had pig chow plus some strawberries under the table from Cary, Jerry and Red. Merry ate all of hers.
Then Red and Merry went to work, the twins went to school and Snorfle went exploring. First Snorfle just walked ALL over to get a clear picture of his new home. Then he came back to the kitchen for some water, more pig chow, without strawberries, and to use the pig litter box. He’d figured that one out yesterday.
Next he ran around each room looking for excitement. The living room rug was VERY exciting and Snorfle rooted around for 10 minutes looking for bugs till he realized that this was not some funny beige grass he had never seen before. It was fun anyway and he rolled around for good measure.
Just then he noticed something. The hallway had been waxed and offered a small pig some real fun. After a few spills, Snorfle got the hang of it. He began by running on the living room rug. When he got to the hall he did a small jump, landed on his hooves and slid to the other end. He bumped into the wall a few times and there were some snout prints on the mirror at the end of the hall that everyone would wonder about later, but this was terrific !
Snorfle trotted happily back to the kitchen for more water and to see if any more strawberries were about. There weren’t, so he headed to the twin’s room. Cary and Jerry had all the usual things ten year old boys have in their rooms: a Brown’s pennant, a large dophin poster and a Dolly Parton poster where she had BIG hair and er, well.
There were baseballs and gloves, a football and soccer ball, and a whiffle ball that Snorfle pushed into every room of the house before the day was over. There was also a toy box that Snorfle could not reach, yet and some tennis balls he could.
He LOVED the furry tennis balls which tickled his very sensitive nose and he pushed them everywhere in the house. Snorfle hid 3 tennis balls under Jerry’s bed, 1 in Red and Merry’s room near the scales, one in the kitchen near his water bowl and one in his bed under the blanket for later.
Then Snorfle took a nap. He dreamed about a pig named Winston. He dreamed about his sister Sne. And he dreamed about the PIG GRAND COUNCIL.
When Snorfle woke up the Cherrys were all home and hellos were shouted, hugs and kisses passed all round, even to Snorfle and Family Time was here. Everyone told about their day, got some praise for doing a good job as usual, fixed dinner together and ate, without TV, so they could continue sharing their day.
After dinner, Cary went to his room. He shouted, “Where are my tennis balls?” and when everyone came to help him they saw the skid marks in the hall and the snout prints on the mirror and wondered and laughed a lot. This was Snorfle’s first day at his new home at 1440 Highridge Rd. in beautiful Lake Swenson with his adopted family Cary, Jerry, Merry and Red Cherry.
The End
by
Robin Hall
On his first day home alone in his new house, Snorfle woke up early. He was confused for a while, but Cary, Jerry, Mary and Red Cherry woke up too and they all had breakfast. The Cherrys had whole wheat and soy pancakes with cottage cheese and blueberry sauce, oranges, strawberries and skim milk. Snorfle had pig chow plus some strawberries under the table from Cary, Jerry and Red. Merry ate all of hers.
Then Red and Merry went to work, the twins went to school and Snorfle went exploring. First Snorfle just walked ALL over to get a clear picture of his new home. Then he came back to the kitchen for some water, more pig chow, without strawberries, and to use the pig litter box. He’d figured that one out yesterday.
Next he ran around each room looking for excitement. The living room rug was VERY exciting and Snorfle rooted around for 10 minutes looking for bugs till he realized that this was not some funny beige grass he had never seen before. It was fun anyway and he rolled around for good measure.
Just then he noticed something. The hallway had been waxed and offered a small pig some real fun. After a few spills, Snorfle got the hang of it. He began by running on the living room rug. When he got to the hall he did a small jump, landed on his hooves and slid to the other end. He bumped into the wall a few times and there were some snout prints on the mirror at the end of the hall that everyone would wonder about later, but this was terrific !
Snorfle trotted happily back to the kitchen for more water and to see if any more strawberries were about. There weren’t, so he headed to the twin’s room. Cary and Jerry had all the usual things ten year old boys have in their rooms: a Brown’s pennant, a large dophin poster and a Dolly Parton poster where she had BIG hair and er, well.
There were baseballs and gloves, a football and soccer ball, and a whiffle ball that Snorfle pushed into every room of the house before the day was over. There was also a toy box that Snorfle could not reach, yet and some tennis balls he could.
He LOVED the furry tennis balls which tickled his very sensitive nose and he pushed them everywhere in the house. Snorfle hid 3 tennis balls under Jerry’s bed, 1 in Red and Merry’s room near the scales, one in the kitchen near his water bowl and one in his bed under the blanket for later.
Then Snorfle took a nap. He dreamed about a pig named Winston. He dreamed about his sister Sne. And he dreamed about the PIG GRAND COUNCIL.
When Snorfle woke up the Cherrys were all home and hellos were shouted, hugs and kisses passed all round, even to Snorfle and Family Time was here. Everyone told about their day, got some praise for doing a good job as usual, fixed dinner together and ate, without TV, so they could continue sharing their day.
After dinner, Cary went to his room. He shouted, “Where are my tennis balls?” and when everyone came to help him they saw the skid marks in the hall and the snout prints on the mirror and wondered and laughed a lot. This was Snorfle’s first day at his new home at 1440 Highridge Rd. in beautiful Lake Swenson with his adopted family Cary, Jerry, Merry and Red Cherry.
The End
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Tree Touching
Tree Touching
by
Robin Hall
The sun is very bright as I walked down the hill. I put the bill of my hat back some so Mr. or Miss, or Mrs. Sun can enlighten me, light up my life. I turn on the final leg of my walk and then touch the fine old tree standing near the path. It feels good, tree touching. I walk on and touch more trees and smile.
I pat one old tree. Some of the bark comes off and I wonder if I hurt the tree? At the next big tree I pause and place both hands on this natural beauty. The wind blows its leaves way up high in the sky and I can feel this huge tree bend in the wind. What a marvelous feeling it is, tree touching.
Another tree beckons ahead. I get there, put both hands on it and look up to the beautiful blue sky. The tree has a big bend in it and then goes on and on skyward, swaying in the wind.
Walk, touch a tree, move on. It is wonderful. Now, don't do this with poison ivy, lions, tigers or bears but trees are just fine to touch. In fact, you can also sit under them, lean on them, picnic under them, play near them and trees hardly notice us at all.
But you know what? I do think they know when we care for them. You can feel it next time you are out for a walk. Touch a tree and see. Whee!!!
by
Robin Hall
The sun is very bright as I walked down the hill. I put the bill of my hat back some so Mr. or Miss, or Mrs. Sun can enlighten me, light up my life. I turn on the final leg of my walk and then touch the fine old tree standing near the path. It feels good, tree touching. I walk on and touch more trees and smile.
I pat one old tree. Some of the bark comes off and I wonder if I hurt the tree? At the next big tree I pause and place both hands on this natural beauty. The wind blows its leaves way up high in the sky and I can feel this huge tree bend in the wind. What a marvelous feeling it is, tree touching.
Another tree beckons ahead. I get there, put both hands on it and look up to the beautiful blue sky. The tree has a big bend in it and then goes on and on skyward, swaying in the wind.
Walk, touch a tree, move on. It is wonderful. Now, don't do this with poison ivy, lions, tigers or bears but trees are just fine to touch. In fact, you can also sit under them, lean on them, picnic under them, play near them and trees hardly notice us at all.
But you know what? I do think they know when we care for them. You can feel it next time you are out for a walk. Touch a tree and see. Whee!!!
Monday, March 19, 2007
Roller Coaster Bees
Roller Coaster Bees
by
Robin Hall
Way, way, way, way, way out in Brooklyn, just past the corner of Petunia Avenue and 12,448 th Street sits the rusting remains of the Petunia Avenue Amusement Park. At one time it was a potential rival for Coney Island Park but due to some Union squabbles, no buses would go there and the park just withered up and passed on as many things and people do when no one can come to visit.
Of course the local Humble-Bee Bumblebees didn't mind at all. In fact they loved the place. Sure there were lots of vandals at first. All sorts of footpads, cut purses, thieves, robbers and even worse spray painters, who today are called taggers, came around in their time. But when most of the good stuff was gone and there wasn't anything left unpainted even these hooligans departed and nature returned. Flowers bloomed, grasses and weeds sprouted everywhere and a few trees took root. It began to look like it used to long before people came, except for the tall roller coaster tracks which probably weren't there before people came but I don’t really know for sure.
There were birds, spiders, bugs of all sorts and bees galore, just like out in the country. Some local cats would wander in looking for mice. Stray dogs came too and sometimes had puppies in the falling down sheds. Things looked good for all the plants and animals, including the Humble-Bee Bumblebees until two summers ago. Some smarty pants young developers decided this was going to be their own ticket to riches. They bought the land, hired surveyors and bribed the head of the bus union to come out for a look-see to get several buses an hour going. That’s when the trouble started.
Bill, the BIG BUMBLE, wasn't having any of this. His hive and ancestors had been here, right under the roller coaster for decades, liked the area and were determined to stay. PERIOD. Now Bill was of course Wilhelmena, but all the bees called her BIG BILL just because, if you know what I mean, she was one rough and organized bee. When the surveyors arrived, BIG BILL pounced on the fellow with the laser survey thingy on a tripod. He yelled some funny words, jumped hard, broke the laser thingy and took off. Later he got a nice peaceful job with McDonald's and seemed quite happy.
The Union Boss, Clyde Barry, didn't have such a good time either. BIG BILL had organized the bees, six spiders, a cat and some of the mean looking ants. They were all waiting... Needless to say Clyde didn't come back either and no buses to this day are anywhere near Petunia Avenue and 12,448 th Street.
The local folks were upset at the builders as well. They organized a lawyer party, hired a fine retired judge, a local woman named Beulah Wilson, filed all sorts of writs, habeus corpses and the like and put an end to the developers dreams of quick riches. The neighbors liked nature just as much as the animals and didn't want some fancy condominiums growing where trees should be. It was a victory for all.
You know sometimes getting organized can get you what you want in the world even if its just a little piece of nature in the middle of a huge city. There might be some organizing to do in your neighborhood. Take a tip from BIG BILL, the Humble-Bee Bumblebees and the neighbors around the old Petunia Avenue Amusement Park. Get organized, get a good lawyer, some bees and bugs on your side and see what can happen.
by
Robin Hall
Way, way, way, way, way out in Brooklyn, just past the corner of Petunia Avenue and 12,448 th Street sits the rusting remains of the Petunia Avenue Amusement Park. At one time it was a potential rival for Coney Island Park but due to some Union squabbles, no buses would go there and the park just withered up and passed on as many things and people do when no one can come to visit.
Of course the local Humble-Bee Bumblebees didn't mind at all. In fact they loved the place. Sure there were lots of vandals at first. All sorts of footpads, cut purses, thieves, robbers and even worse spray painters, who today are called taggers, came around in their time. But when most of the good stuff was gone and there wasn't anything left unpainted even these hooligans departed and nature returned. Flowers bloomed, grasses and weeds sprouted everywhere and a few trees took root. It began to look like it used to long before people came, except for the tall roller coaster tracks which probably weren't there before people came but I don’t really know for sure.
There were birds, spiders, bugs of all sorts and bees galore, just like out in the country. Some local cats would wander in looking for mice. Stray dogs came too and sometimes had puppies in the falling down sheds. Things looked good for all the plants and animals, including the Humble-Bee Bumblebees until two summers ago. Some smarty pants young developers decided this was going to be their own ticket to riches. They bought the land, hired surveyors and bribed the head of the bus union to come out for a look-see to get several buses an hour going. That’s when the trouble started.
Bill, the BIG BUMBLE, wasn't having any of this. His hive and ancestors had been here, right under the roller coaster for decades, liked the area and were determined to stay. PERIOD. Now Bill was of course Wilhelmena, but all the bees called her BIG BILL just because, if you know what I mean, she was one rough and organized bee. When the surveyors arrived, BIG BILL pounced on the fellow with the laser survey thingy on a tripod. He yelled some funny words, jumped hard, broke the laser thingy and took off. Later he got a nice peaceful job with McDonald's and seemed quite happy.
The Union Boss, Clyde Barry, didn't have such a good time either. BIG BILL had organized the bees, six spiders, a cat and some of the mean looking ants. They were all waiting... Needless to say Clyde didn't come back either and no buses to this day are anywhere near Petunia Avenue and 12,448 th Street.
The local folks were upset at the builders as well. They organized a lawyer party, hired a fine retired judge, a local woman named Beulah Wilson, filed all sorts of writs, habeus corpses and the like and put an end to the developers dreams of quick riches. The neighbors liked nature just as much as the animals and didn't want some fancy condominiums growing where trees should be. It was a victory for all.
You know sometimes getting organized can get you what you want in the world even if its just a little piece of nature in the middle of a huge city. There might be some organizing to do in your neighborhood. Take a tip from BIG BILL, the Humble-Bee Bumblebees and the neighbors around the old Petunia Avenue Amusement Park. Get organized, get a good lawyer, some bees and bugs on your side and see what can happen.
Friday, March 16, 2007
The Cowncil of Mu
The Cowncil of Mu
by
Robin Hall
A long time ago in the Kingdom of Mu
There were so many Cows no one knew what to do.
Each Cow family was more like a herd
And every day a new baby Muer stirred.
There were Cows on the hill and Cows in the dale
Cows on the road and Cows on the trail.
There were Cows on the farm and in the city too
Why Cows lived in penthouses as well as the zoo.
There were red Cows and white Cows and yellows and browns
There were doctor Cows and nurse Cows and plenty of clowns.
There were good Cows and bad Cows and Cows in between
There were Aberdeen Cows, Irene Cows, Jeans and Kathleens.
There were Cows named Hal, Willie and Fred
There were other Cows named Red, Jed and Ted.
There were smart Cows and dull Cows and some were confused.
There were more Cows than jobs was usually the news.
The Cows thought and they thought and they thought some more
Sometimes they thought themselves into a war.
One cow said, “Put a limit on growth.”
Another cow said, ”Just say no is my oath.”
The Cowncil of Mu met day and night
They had to find a way out of their plight.
And some elderly Muers and some of the young
They knew the danger. About this they had sung:
“Now the kingdom of Mu has beautiful trees. It has beautiful
lands and beautiful seas.
But when there are too many Cows and too little grass
When there is too little food to feed our mass,
When there too many Cows in too many a city
Beauty begins to die — its not very pretty.
Now ugly old greed is always a reason
So let’s make it a law — greed is treason.”
But the Law didn’t pass, who knows why?
So growth and greed continued polluting the sky.
One day Cows weren’t doing so much
They were all content to stay in their hutch.
They forgot how to laugh, how to play, how to think.
Soon their days were wasted with drugs and with drink.
As time went on most Cows slowly forgot
The Kingdom of Mu fell to decay and rot.
Cows could no longer think, play or laugh
Their intelligence fell by half, half, and half.
By now it must be plain to you
The Kingdom of Mu is now the kingdom of moo.
Then people came along and we have a chance
To have a nice place to work, sing and dance.
But too many people are like too many kine.
We MUST find an answer there just isn’t much time.
Some folks will think, “This doesn’t apply to me.”
But even now people are living from sea to sea.
And the oceans are dying at too fast a pace.
So wake up now and slow down this fast human race.
The End?
by
Robin Hall
A long time ago in the Kingdom of Mu
There were so many Cows no one knew what to do.
Each Cow family was more like a herd
And every day a new baby Muer stirred.
There were Cows on the hill and Cows in the dale
Cows on the road and Cows on the trail.
There were Cows on the farm and in the city too
Why Cows lived in penthouses as well as the zoo.
There were red Cows and white Cows and yellows and browns
There were doctor Cows and nurse Cows and plenty of clowns.
There were good Cows and bad Cows and Cows in between
There were Aberdeen Cows, Irene Cows, Jeans and Kathleens.
There were Cows named Hal, Willie and Fred
There were other Cows named Red, Jed and Ted.
There were smart Cows and dull Cows and some were confused.
There were more Cows than jobs was usually the news.
The Cows thought and they thought and they thought some more
Sometimes they thought themselves into a war.
One cow said, “Put a limit on growth.”
Another cow said, ”Just say no is my oath.”
The Cowncil of Mu met day and night
They had to find a way out of their plight.
And some elderly Muers and some of the young
They knew the danger. About this they had sung:
“Now the kingdom of Mu has beautiful trees. It has beautiful
lands and beautiful seas.
But when there are too many Cows and too little grass
When there is too little food to feed our mass,
When there too many Cows in too many a city
Beauty begins to die — its not very pretty.
Now ugly old greed is always a reason
So let’s make it a law — greed is treason.”
But the Law didn’t pass, who knows why?
So growth and greed continued polluting the sky.
One day Cows weren’t doing so much
They were all content to stay in their hutch.
They forgot how to laugh, how to play, how to think.
Soon their days were wasted with drugs and with drink.
As time went on most Cows slowly forgot
The Kingdom of Mu fell to decay and rot.
Cows could no longer think, play or laugh
Their intelligence fell by half, half, and half.
By now it must be plain to you
The Kingdom of Mu is now the kingdom of moo.
Then people came along and we have a chance
To have a nice place to work, sing and dance.
But too many people are like too many kine.
We MUST find an answer there just isn’t much time.
Some folks will think, “This doesn’t apply to me.”
But even now people are living from sea to sea.
And the oceans are dying at too fast a pace.
So wake up now and slow down this fast human race.
The End?
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Interview with a Tortoise, er Turtle
There are several Interviews. They are fun to read with someone and are just like Henry & George, dialogs.
Interview With a Tortoise, er, Turtle
by
Robin Hall
Interviewer: How’s it going, eh?
Turtle: OK. Yourself?
Interviewer: Well, uh, OK I guess. I didn’t figure you could actually talk. I thought the guys at the store were putting me on.
Turtle: Sure.
I: Is it OK to call you Tortoise?
T: NO! I hate that name. Its so French. And how would you pronounce it anyway? Tor twa? No way.
I: Sorry.
T: Sure.
I: What can I call you?
T: Turtle is fine.
I: Well now, Turtle, can you tell me a little about yourself?
T: Like what?
I: You know, the usual. Where you were born, where do you live, how did you learn to talk? That sort of thing.
T: Oh.
I: ??
T: I was just thinking.
I: Sure.
T: How old are you sonny?
I: I, er, I’m 26.
T: Hmmm. I’m almost 103. I hardly feel a day over 80 most of the time.
I: I see.
T: Do you?
I: No. Just a figure of speech.
T: Watch it then.
I: Sorry.
T: Sure. Where was I? Where am I? Heh, heh. Little turtle joke.
I: Very funny. Say, you ever watch Jay Leno?
T: Once or twice. Used to catch the Carson show sometimes. This old coot been trying to catch ME for years had a fishing shack up the bend there would watch. Mostly he just drank beer, fished a little and passed out. I’d walk up near the window and listen in. Past my bedtime though these days, the Late Show. Must be gettin’ old.
I: Sure.
T: Right. Actually like that Leno better but its just too late of an evening. Mosquitoes start buzzing around my nose make me sneeze. I turn in about sundown, put some moss over my nose and sleep like a log.
I: Kinda look like one too.
T: Say, you a wise guy or sumpin?
I: Sorry.
T: Yeah, I sorta do look like a cross between a log and one of those smelly alligators. I hate them critters. One almost got me when I was your age, about the middle of that stupid Prohibition era. Folks was plain mean then. Pl'ice raids made decent folks maddern a wet hen, which by the way are quite tasty. Folks would take out their anger on them alligators and the alligators would always come looking for one of us to take it out on. Or just looking for a snack, never really know with those varmits...
I: Go on.
T: Like I said, I turn in early.
I: How was it in those days? Were people different? How about this swamp? When were you born?
T: Right. Let’s see. Where to begin? Well, I’m not too clear my early years. Something happened around 1910, I was about 13 at the time. All of a sudden... Naw, you’d think I was crazy.
I: No, please go on.
T: All right, but no laughing ‘less I laugh too.
I: OK.
T: OK. So, it was around 1910. Stock market was in pretty good shape, no World Wars. Pretty good time for some folks. Us turtles had a tough time of course, like always. Running from people, alligators, ‘skeeters, dogs.
Ha. That reminds me. There was this old blue tick hound across the way, uh, Winnebago they called him. Dumb name for a dumb dog. Anyway, Winnebago used to chase his tail till he got dizzy and plumb fell over. He actually believed it was food or something. Don’t really know though. Me and the other turtles would just howl when he done that. He’d stagger around for an hour like’t he was drunk.
Still, he never bothered none of us alligator turtles like some dogs would. Just sniff a bit then walk off. Alligator got him one day he was dizzy. I hate them gators.
I: Let me change the tape if you don’t mind.
T: Sure. I’ll get a drink. BRB.
I: OK.
T: Batteries fresh?
I: Yes, thank you.
T: In that funny fall of 1910 something strange happened. One day I was just some turtle then WHAM, I can think all of a sudden. Took me a week to figure out what to do. Man that was weird. Just a turtle, then WHAM.
I: Wow. Then what?
T: Then? That is a tough one. I am sure life was easier before I began to think.
Thinking is a drag sometime you know. All of a sudden you have to occupy time. Before you just
WERE.
Now I know stuff, before I just did stuff. Hard to explain I ‘spose. The other turtles didn’t have a clue what went wrong with me. I couldn't tell them.
I was lonely a lot till I met my wife. Good turtle she was. Had lots of spirit. We swam all over the swamp here, one end to the other. One year we swam all the way round the outside. Next year we’d criss cross and see the islands and all. She almost understood too, almost.
I: Must have been rough, thinking when the others didn’t.
T: Yes.
I: Can you tell me about the swamp here?
T: Well, round 1937 the swamp was designated Okefenokee National Wildlife Refuge. Things got a little better for the animals here. Before the local folks would cause all sorts of trouble with hunting and all.
Fact, they got even better in 1974 when the interior was declared a national wilderness area. Really keeps folks out good. See that stream over there? Used to be full of soap and fertilizer run off. Whew, was this area nasty. Almost kilt a lot of us. Well, after 1974 all that stopped and its come back real nice don’t you think?
I: Of course. Its beautiful here. Do you have many friends?
T: Not too many. Youngsters come down to the water sometime and behave decent we might be friends for a while. There’s a bear in the woods about 3 miles from here I talk to. Ugly cuss he is but knows all bout trains. He seen them in 3 states. Tells me all about his travels. I'd like to travel on a train sometime...
I: Say, how about a ride in a car?
T: You mean it?
I: Yes indeed. You won’t bite me will you?
T: No.
I: OK. How’s this, you can sit on my suitcases up front. Up you go, now over a bit. You alright?
T: Great. Man this is terrific.
I: Just an old clunker I’ve had since school.
T: Stick shift?
I: Yes. I never liked automatics.
T: How fast this baby go?
I: Almost 80.
T: Man oh man.
I: Watch this. See that bump up there? We can fly a bit when we hit it. Be careful, let me strap you in. OK, here goes...
T: WOOOOOOWwwwwwwwww.
I: I thought you would like that.
T: Say, you’re all right for a human.
I: Thanks. You mind if I come back to talk some more?
T: No. Just honk three times when you come over that hill and I will come on back to the beach here.
I: OK. Well, its been a pleasure.
T: Yeah, me too. Thanks for that ride. I didn’t catch your name.
I: Man, just call me man.
T: OK, man. See you.
I: See you, turtle....
Interview With a Tortoise, er, Turtle
by
Robin Hall
Interviewer: How’s it going, eh?
Turtle: OK. Yourself?
Interviewer: Well, uh, OK I guess. I didn’t figure you could actually talk. I thought the guys at the store were putting me on.
Turtle: Sure.
I: Is it OK to call you Tortoise?
T: NO! I hate that name. Its so French. And how would you pronounce it anyway? Tor twa? No way.
I: Sorry.
T: Sure.
I: What can I call you?
T: Turtle is fine.
I: Well now, Turtle, can you tell me a little about yourself?
T: Like what?
I: You know, the usual. Where you were born, where do you live, how did you learn to talk? That sort of thing.
T: Oh.
I: ??
T: I was just thinking.
I: Sure.
T: How old are you sonny?
I: I, er, I’m 26.
T: Hmmm. I’m almost 103. I hardly feel a day over 80 most of the time.
I: I see.
T: Do you?
I: No. Just a figure of speech.
T: Watch it then.
I: Sorry.
T: Sure. Where was I? Where am I? Heh, heh. Little turtle joke.
I: Very funny. Say, you ever watch Jay Leno?
T: Once or twice. Used to catch the Carson show sometimes. This old coot been trying to catch ME for years had a fishing shack up the bend there would watch. Mostly he just drank beer, fished a little and passed out. I’d walk up near the window and listen in. Past my bedtime though these days, the Late Show. Must be gettin’ old.
I: Sure.
T: Right. Actually like that Leno better but its just too late of an evening. Mosquitoes start buzzing around my nose make me sneeze. I turn in about sundown, put some moss over my nose and sleep like a log.
I: Kinda look like one too.
T: Say, you a wise guy or sumpin?
I: Sorry.
T: Yeah, I sorta do look like a cross between a log and one of those smelly alligators. I hate them critters. One almost got me when I was your age, about the middle of that stupid Prohibition era. Folks was plain mean then. Pl'ice raids made decent folks maddern a wet hen, which by the way are quite tasty. Folks would take out their anger on them alligators and the alligators would always come looking for one of us to take it out on. Or just looking for a snack, never really know with those varmits...
I: Go on.
T: Like I said, I turn in early.
I: How was it in those days? Were people different? How about this swamp? When were you born?
T: Right. Let’s see. Where to begin? Well, I’m not too clear my early years. Something happened around 1910, I was about 13 at the time. All of a sudden... Naw, you’d think I was crazy.
I: No, please go on.
T: All right, but no laughing ‘less I laugh too.
I: OK.
T: OK. So, it was around 1910. Stock market was in pretty good shape, no World Wars. Pretty good time for some folks. Us turtles had a tough time of course, like always. Running from people, alligators, ‘skeeters, dogs.
Ha. That reminds me. There was this old blue tick hound across the way, uh, Winnebago they called him. Dumb name for a dumb dog. Anyway, Winnebago used to chase his tail till he got dizzy and plumb fell over. He actually believed it was food or something. Don’t really know though. Me and the other turtles would just howl when he done that. He’d stagger around for an hour like’t he was drunk.
Still, he never bothered none of us alligator turtles like some dogs would. Just sniff a bit then walk off. Alligator got him one day he was dizzy. I hate them gators.
I: Let me change the tape if you don’t mind.
T: Sure. I’ll get a drink. BRB.
I: OK.
T: Batteries fresh?
I: Yes, thank you.
T: In that funny fall of 1910 something strange happened. One day I was just some turtle then WHAM, I can think all of a sudden. Took me a week to figure out what to do. Man that was weird. Just a turtle, then WHAM.
I: Wow. Then what?
T: Then? That is a tough one. I am sure life was easier before I began to think.
Thinking is a drag sometime you know. All of a sudden you have to occupy time. Before you just
WERE.
Now I know stuff, before I just did stuff. Hard to explain I ‘spose. The other turtles didn’t have a clue what went wrong with me. I couldn't tell them.
I was lonely a lot till I met my wife. Good turtle she was. Had lots of spirit. We swam all over the swamp here, one end to the other. One year we swam all the way round the outside. Next year we’d criss cross and see the islands and all. She almost understood too, almost.
I: Must have been rough, thinking when the others didn’t.
T: Yes.
I: Can you tell me about the swamp here?
T: Well, round 1937 the swamp was designated Okefenokee National Wildlife Refuge. Things got a little better for the animals here. Before the local folks would cause all sorts of trouble with hunting and all.
Fact, they got even better in 1974 when the interior was declared a national wilderness area. Really keeps folks out good. See that stream over there? Used to be full of soap and fertilizer run off. Whew, was this area nasty. Almost kilt a lot of us. Well, after 1974 all that stopped and its come back real nice don’t you think?
I: Of course. Its beautiful here. Do you have many friends?
T: Not too many. Youngsters come down to the water sometime and behave decent we might be friends for a while. There’s a bear in the woods about 3 miles from here I talk to. Ugly cuss he is but knows all bout trains. He seen them in 3 states. Tells me all about his travels. I'd like to travel on a train sometime...
I: Say, how about a ride in a car?
T: You mean it?
I: Yes indeed. You won’t bite me will you?
T: No.
I: OK. How’s this, you can sit on my suitcases up front. Up you go, now over a bit. You alright?
T: Great. Man this is terrific.
I: Just an old clunker I’ve had since school.
T: Stick shift?
I: Yes. I never liked automatics.
T: How fast this baby go?
I: Almost 80.
T: Man oh man.
I: Watch this. See that bump up there? We can fly a bit when we hit it. Be careful, let me strap you in. OK, here goes...
T: WOOOOOOWwwwwwwwww.
I: I thought you would like that.
T: Say, you’re all right for a human.
I: Thanks. You mind if I come back to talk some more?
T: No. Just honk three times when you come over that hill and I will come on back to the beach here.
I: OK. Well, its been a pleasure.
T: Yeah, me too. Thanks for that ride. I didn’t catch your name.
I: Man, just call me man.
T: OK, man. See you.
I: See you, turtle....
Monday, March 12, 2007
Itzak the Rainbow Beaver
Itzak the Rainbow Beaver
by
Robin Hall
Most everyone loves rainbows and most everyone also loves beavers even if they never met one. This is why.
A long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time ago there were no rainbows. There were no beavers either. Then along came rain, but no rainbows and somewhat later along came beavers. Well, beavers are partial to wood as you know. They eat some and use some in building their dams. Of course dams like the Hoover dam were not made by beavers. They are usually built by people out of concrete not by beavers out of wood.
Anyway, one day a little tiny baby beaver named Itzak was chewing on a small tree. The rain had started coming down AND there was sun too. When that happened Itzak was startled and he bit too hard on the tree. Since he only had baby teeth when he bit the tree it hurt his teeth and he began to cry and cry.
The GREAT SPIRIT asked little Itzak what the matter was. Itzak said, “I hurt my teeth when the sun came out and it was raining. That had never happened before.” The GREAT SPIRIT spread his giant wings across the whole valley. Each feather was a different color. Then little Itzak stopped crying. He smiled. Then he laughed out loud.
The GREAT SPIRIT saw how happy little Itzak became and from then on when children of any age anywhere are hurt or just want to smile or laugh, the GREAT SPIRIT sends us a rainbow to see or remember and we have little Itzak and the GREAT SPIRIT to thank. Lets all remember to do just this the next time we need our own rainbow.
by
Robin Hall
Most everyone loves rainbows and most everyone also loves beavers even if they never met one. This is why.
A long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time ago there were no rainbows. There were no beavers either. Then along came rain, but no rainbows and somewhat later along came beavers. Well, beavers are partial to wood as you know. They eat some and use some in building their dams. Of course dams like the Hoover dam were not made by beavers. They are usually built by people out of concrete not by beavers out of wood.
Anyway, one day a little tiny baby beaver named Itzak was chewing on a small tree. The rain had started coming down AND there was sun too. When that happened Itzak was startled and he bit too hard on the tree. Since he only had baby teeth when he bit the tree it hurt his teeth and he began to cry and cry.
The GREAT SPIRIT asked little Itzak what the matter was. Itzak said, “I hurt my teeth when the sun came out and it was raining. That had never happened before.” The GREAT SPIRIT spread his giant wings across the whole valley. Each feather was a different color. Then little Itzak stopped crying. He smiled. Then he laughed out loud.
The GREAT SPIRIT saw how happy little Itzak became and from then on when children of any age anywhere are hurt or just want to smile or laugh, the GREAT SPIRIT sends us a rainbow to see or remember and we have little Itzak and the GREAT SPIRIT to thank. Lets all remember to do just this the next time we need our own rainbow.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Do Animals Think?
Do Animals Think?
by
Robin Hall
If you were an ant, what would you think? Ant thoughts: Feed the Queen, clean the nest,“Hello, friends. Where is the next picnic?” What do you think ants think?
Are bear thoughts more wonderful than ant thoughts? Or do bears just think about salmon, summer, winter, berries and cubs? Do bears think? What you think they think?
Does a cat in your house think about mice, catnip, catnaps, balls of string, scratching the couch and that pretty yellow canary? What do you think a cat thinks if it thinks?
Do dogs ponder and imagine beautiful things? Do dogs think at all? Or do they just sit in the sun, chase leaves and toads, look for food, sleep, wander about and meow?
I am always wondering about these things. What do animals think? Do we look funny to them?Do we smell funny too?
Well, I don’t know.
Its fun to think about what
Animals think about.
Don’t you think so too?
by
Robin Hall
If you were an ant, what would you think? Ant thoughts: Feed the Queen, clean the nest,“Hello, friends. Where is the next picnic?” What do you think ants think?
Are bear thoughts more wonderful than ant thoughts? Or do bears just think about salmon, summer, winter, berries and cubs? Do bears think? What you think they think?
Does a cat in your house think about mice, catnip, catnaps, balls of string, scratching the couch and that pretty yellow canary? What do you think a cat thinks if it thinks?
Do dogs ponder and imagine beautiful things? Do dogs think at all? Or do they just sit in the sun, chase leaves and toads, look for food, sleep, wander about and meow?
I am always wondering about these things. What do animals think? Do we look funny to them?Do we smell funny too?
Well, I don’t know.
Its fun to think about what
Animals think about.
Don’t you think so too?
Alfred the New Gnu
New Gnu Fun
by
Robin Hall
Here are tales for you about Alfred Gnu,
Our Bewildered beasty friend.
Alfred's sister Lulu Gnu has a tale or two
There are other animals 4 U.
Umar, the lion, Hattie the chimp, lots of silly gnu food,
Imagine the fun, riding a gnu into the green dark scary wood.
Alfred the New Gnu
by
Robin Hall
Alfred knew some things other gnus didn’t. For one thing, Alfred knew he was a gnu. He also knew he was a new gnu though he didn’t know how new or how he knew he was new, he just knew.
One day not so very long ago, Alfred was born. He was a very new gnu at the time, a baby gnu. Then a few weeks later he knew he was a gnu. How? Some British tourists were passing by in their hired Toyota Land Cruiser and one of them said, “Look, Alfred, there is a baby gnu.” That is how Alfred knew he was a gnu and a baby too. The other gnus didn’t pause much from eating but Alfred did and at that very moment he knew. He decided his name WAS Alfred too.
“I wonder if the other gnus know much?” Alfred wondered. They didn’t seem to know much and Alfred couldn’t ask them or anyone. Alfred had many thoughts from that moment on. He wondered if other animals knew what he knew? “Were they conscious?” might have been the question an educated person would ask. Alfred wasn’t educated but he was conscious and he knew that too. Well, what to do???
Now Alfred started wandering around looking at things in a new gnu’s light which was very bright. He watched the herd of gnus. He watched his parent gnus. They didn’t treat him any differently. Alfred watched the other animals too and how they watched the gnus. He watched the lions too and the lions watched back. Alfred knew they didn’t know much but he knew they were hungry so Alfred stayed with his herd. He was a smart gnu.
Which presented a problem. Most smart people can go to school. Alfred wasn’t a person and there were no gnu schools for a new smart gnu to go to. The teachers would probably say there were no gnu desks for you to sit in and since he couldn’t talk or sign, how would he answer the questions even if he studied hard and knew all the answers? Hmmm. Besides, the children were frequently not very nice to those who were different and a new gnu who knew, would be VERY different don’t you think? Yes, I do too. So, what to do???
Alfred knew there were other ways to learn than going to school. You could just watch animals and people. You could read but that was somewhat difficult since there weren’t any gnu libraries. “I can just do things. Which is a fine way to learn too and that is what I will do!!”
Well, Alfred knew there were many questions and he could not solve all his life's problems in one day so he made a plan. “I will keep growing, I will get very strong and fast, I will keep learning the best I can. I am a new gnu and I will do what I can do rather than try to do what I can’t do.” And he did.
The continent Alfred lives in is called Africa. It is very, very big and there are many adventures for a new gnu to have, so I will come back often and hope you do too.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Imaginationing: U and Your Cup
I wrote several guided imagery exercises and incorporated them into some of my stories. Its very nice to have someone read them to you. If you are alone, record them and play them back to yourself. It is fun.
I call these exercises, Imaginationings. You can use them to reduce stress, work your imagination and make up your own versions. If you do this, why not share it? Send it to me and I will put your name in the title OR start your own blog. Send me a link to it.
Imaginationing: U and Your Cup
Imaginationing, using your imagination, is fun. Let’s try something new and also familiar. Remember your favorite cup? Go get it again and bring it to your chair... Hold your cup in both hands and look at it, really LOOK closely.
Look at the rim, the top; look at the handle; look at the bottom. Sometimes we see things but don’t really LOOK, don’t understand. But we can learn to go deeper into things. We can use more senses and we can use our imagination.
Now while you are looking, FEEL the cup too. Feel the top, the handle, the sides, the bottom. Put the cup over one ear and LISTEN to your cup. What do you hear? Put the cup in the palm of your right hand. Rest your right hand on your left in you lap.
Get comfortable. Leave noises for another time. Close your eyes. Sit there quietly and listen.
Can you feel your cup? Can you hear your cup? Is it heavy? Use your imagination and make it heavier. It is pressing down on you hand and is very heavy...
Take a deep breath. Let it out... Now make your cup get lighter... It is just right sitting in your hand... Now imagine your cup getting still lighter... Let it rise to your eye level... With your eyes still closed, LOOK at your cup floating there... Look at the top. Look at the handle. Look at the side. Now imagine the cup turning to you so you can see the bottom...
Blow gently on your cup and it floats farther away... Breathe in through your mouth and bring your cup back...
Now let your cup float gently back to your hand... Feel the bottom. Feel the weight. Feel the handle and top...
You are in your chair in the same place. You feel very good. Slowly open your eyes and look at your cup... Smile. Your imaginationing is over for now. You can return later if you like and use a spoon or ???
I call these exercises, Imaginationings. You can use them to reduce stress, work your imagination and make up your own versions. If you do this, why not share it? Send it to me and I will put your name in the title OR start your own blog. Send me a link to it.
Imaginationing: U and Your Cup
Imaginationing, using your imagination, is fun. Let’s try something new and also familiar. Remember your favorite cup? Go get it again and bring it to your chair... Hold your cup in both hands and look at it, really LOOK closely.
Look at the rim, the top; look at the handle; look at the bottom. Sometimes we see things but don’t really LOOK, don’t understand. But we can learn to go deeper into things. We can use more senses and we can use our imagination.
Now while you are looking, FEEL the cup too. Feel the top, the handle, the sides, the bottom. Put the cup over one ear and LISTEN to your cup. What do you hear? Put the cup in the palm of your right hand. Rest your right hand on your left in you lap.
Get comfortable. Leave noises for another time. Close your eyes. Sit there quietly and listen.
Can you feel your cup? Can you hear your cup? Is it heavy? Use your imagination and make it heavier. It is pressing down on you hand and is very heavy...
Take a deep breath. Let it out... Now make your cup get lighter... It is just right sitting in your hand... Now imagine your cup getting still lighter... Let it rise to your eye level... With your eyes still closed, LOOK at your cup floating there... Look at the top. Look at the handle. Look at the side. Now imagine the cup turning to you so you can see the bottom...
Blow gently on your cup and it floats farther away... Breathe in through your mouth and bring your cup back...
Now let your cup float gently back to your hand... Feel the bottom. Feel the weight. Feel the handle and top...
You are in your chair in the same place. You feel very good. Slowly open your eyes and look at your cup... Smile. Your imaginationing is over for now. You can return later if you like and use a spoon or ???
Quit Buggin' Me
These dialogs between two roaches, best friends for ever and a day, can be fun to do with someone else. George and Henry live in New York.
Quit Buggin’ Me
by
Robin Hall
George: Sure is dark in here. Hey, Henry, you got a match?
Henry: What?
George: I said, do you have a match?
Henry: No.
G: How about a flashlight then?
H: NO. No match. No flashlight.
G: Don’t get sore at me.
H: I ain’t sore at you.
G: You sound sore.
H: Shut up.
G: See, I knew you was sore.
H: George, you are a moron. You been watching too much TV. Where would a roach like me carry a match, IF there were any small enough to carry? I got no pockets, no purse, no bag, no where to put matches. Plus fire scares me. And where would I get batteries for my tiny flashlight? You been in that butter milk up in 604 again?
G: Well, er, I did have just a bit. Smoothe, silky, yummy.
H: Oyvey. What am I going to do with you? Leave him alone for 5 minutes and he’s into some body’s batch of homemade buttermilk.
G: Was good.
H: Sure. Ok, just relax. Sit down and breathe deeply. That’s it. Better clean off those feelers too.
G: You’re a good friend Henry.
H: Sure.
G: So, do you have a flashlight?
G: Heh, heh, just teasing.
H: Sure.
G: Whew, that was some trip.
H: Sure.
G: Man, its mighty dark.
H: George, we are in a drain. The same drain we were in yesterday. It was dark then. Its dark now.
G: Sure is dark though.
H: Ok, try this. Is it darker today than it was yesterday? Think real hard.
G: Well, its dark all right.
H: But darker than yesterday?
G: Uh, I can’t tell. Its dark.
H: But darker than yesterday or the day before?
G: Its pretty dark. You really don’t have a flashlight?
H: ROACHES DON’T HAVE FLASHLIGHTS!!!
G: Oh. Too bad cause its awful dark.
H: Come on, I’ll get you home.
G: Where is that?
H: Where it always is, under the sink in 304, third crack on the left.
G: Is that far?
H: Not far now.
G: Sure is dark. Oops. Sorry Henry.
H: Yeah, yeah. I walk on them too.
G: Dark. Are we there yet?
H: Finally. Try to get some sleep.
G: Ok but its still dark.
H: Goodnight George.
G: Night Henry. Can you sing to me?
H: Ok, but just one song. What’ll it be?
G: Home on the Range.
H: Home, home on the Range, where the deer and the antelope play. Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, and the sky’s are not cloudy all day...
Quit Buggin’ Me
by
Robin Hall
George: Sure is dark in here. Hey, Henry, you got a match?
Henry: What?
George: I said, do you have a match?
Henry: No.
G: How about a flashlight then?
H: NO. No match. No flashlight.
G: Don’t get sore at me.
H: I ain’t sore at you.
G: You sound sore.
H: Shut up.
G: See, I knew you was sore.
H: George, you are a moron. You been watching too much TV. Where would a roach like me carry a match, IF there were any small enough to carry? I got no pockets, no purse, no bag, no where to put matches. Plus fire scares me. And where would I get batteries for my tiny flashlight? You been in that butter milk up in 604 again?
G: Well, er, I did have just a bit. Smoothe, silky, yummy.
H: Oyvey. What am I going to do with you? Leave him alone for 5 minutes and he’s into some body’s batch of homemade buttermilk.
G: Was good.
H: Sure. Ok, just relax. Sit down and breathe deeply. That’s it. Better clean off those feelers too.
G: You’re a good friend Henry.
H: Sure.
G: So, do you have a flashlight?
G: Heh, heh, just teasing.
H: Sure.
G: Whew, that was some trip.
H: Sure.
G: Man, its mighty dark.
H: George, we are in a drain. The same drain we were in yesterday. It was dark then. Its dark now.
G: Sure is dark though.
H: Ok, try this. Is it darker today than it was yesterday? Think real hard.
G: Well, its dark all right.
H: But darker than yesterday?
G: Uh, I can’t tell. Its dark.
H: But darker than yesterday or the day before?
G: Its pretty dark. You really don’t have a flashlight?
H: ROACHES DON’T HAVE FLASHLIGHTS!!!
G: Oh. Too bad cause its awful dark.
H: Come on, I’ll get you home.
G: Where is that?
H: Where it always is, under the sink in 304, third crack on the left.
G: Is that far?
H: Not far now.
G: Sure is dark. Oops. Sorry Henry.
H: Yeah, yeah. I walk on them too.
G: Dark. Are we there yet?
H: Finally. Try to get some sleep.
G: Ok but its still dark.
H: Goodnight George.
G: Night Henry. Can you sing to me?
H: Ok, but just one song. What’ll it be?
G: Home on the Range.
H: Home, home on the Range, where the deer and the antelope play. Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, and the sky’s are not cloudy all day...
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