Quit Buggin' Me

These dialogs between two roaches, best friends for ever and a day, can be fun to do with someone else. George and Henry live in New York.

Quit Buggin’ Me
by
Robin Hall

George: Sure is dark in here. Hey, Henry, you got a match?

Henry: What?

George: I said, do you have a match?

Henry: No.

G: How about a flashlight then?

H: NO. No match. No flashlight.

G: Don’t get sore at me.

H: I ain’t sore at you.

G: You sound sore.

H: Shut up.

G: See, I knew you was sore.

H: George, you are a moron. You been watching too much TV. Where would a roach like me carry a match, IF there were any small enough to carry? I got no pockets, no purse, no bag, no where to put matches. Plus fire scares me. And where would I get batteries for my tiny flashlight? You been in that butter milk up in 604 again?

G: Well, er, I did have just a bit. Smoothe, silky, yummy.

H: Oyvey. What am I going to do with you? Leave him alone for 5 minutes and he’s into some body’s batch of homemade buttermilk.

G: Was good.

H: Sure. Ok, just relax. Sit down and breathe deeply. That’s it. Better clean off those feelers too.

G: You’re a good friend Henry.

H: Sure.

G: So, do you have a flashlight?

G: Heh, heh, just teasing.

H: Sure.

G: Whew, that was some trip.

H: Sure.

G: Man, its mighty dark.

H: George, we are in a drain. The same drain we were in yesterday. It was dark then. Its dark now.

G: Sure is dark though.

H: Ok, try this. Is it darker today than it was yesterday? Think real hard.

G: Well, its dark all right.

H: But darker than yesterday?

G: Uh, I can’t tell. Its dark.

H: But darker than yesterday or the day before?

G: Its pretty dark. You really don’t have a flashlight?

H: ROACHES DON’T HAVE FLASHLIGHTS!!!

G: Oh. Too bad cause its awful dark.

H: Come on, I’ll get you home.

G: Where is that?

H: Where it always is, under the sink in 304, third crack on the left.

G: Is that far?

H: Not far now.

G: Sure is dark. Oops. Sorry Henry.

H: Yeah, yeah. I walk on them too.

G: Dark. Are we there yet?

H: Finally. Try to get some sleep.

G: Ok but its still dark.

H: Goodnight George.

G: Night Henry. Can you sing to me?

H: Ok, but just one song. What’ll it be?

G: Home on the Range.

H: Home, home on the Range, where the deer and the antelope play. Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, and the sky’s are not cloudy all day...