Alfred Gnu’s Sister Lulu Gnu's Tutu

Alfred Gnu’s Sister Lulu Gnu's Tutu
by
Robin Hall

One day the BBC was playing the Nutcracker Suite. Alfred had heard the ballet last year but now he got to watch it on a tiny little TV screen that was left by some American tourists. Now this TV watching seemed strange to Alfred. Why in the world would anyone pay good money to come to deepest, darkest Africa for a vacation and bring a TV?

Well, Alfred noticed Americans were somewhat strange and not all that well liked by many but Alfred liked most tourists plus the exotic foods the Americans left at the picnic grounds was excellent and don't forget the TV.

There were Baked Beans which made him a bit windy but tasted great and there were Twinkies, perhaps the most famous food in the world. Alfred had learned to read, again thanks to the BBC, and perused the Twinkies package.

There was no real food there however. It was all chemicals except some flour which was listed about half way down, but youngsters everywhere didn't let anything like nutrition get in the way of fun foods and neither did Alfred.

After his snack Alfred moved under the shade of a nearby tree and was dozing noisily and windily. The Nutcracker suite was a good rendition, if somewhat crackly due to the transmission problems in Africa, but it made him dream and dream and dream...

All of a sudden his sister Lulu gnu was pirouetting around wearing a tutu. Now gnus don’t normally wear clothing, let alone tutus and Alfred giggled in his sleep.

If you know anything about gnus, and Alfred did, you know that gnus do seem silly and a tutu wouldn't be all that out of place. If they are threatened for instance, they look ferocious then begin bouncing up and down like in a ballet and there was Lulu gnu pirouetting in her pink tutu in the First Act. Well, this was a fine dream and it went on and on.

All the grisly bewildered beasts, or gnus, in his area joined in the show. Most of them were his cousins: Dowabi, Darwin, Waynie, SuSu his sister Lulu and several others too.

Then the lions joined in and several wore tights. There were two lions with tutus and a hilarious giraffe frolicked with 3 zebras and a springbok. Tutus and tights were everywhere. It rained nuts and raisins and sugarplums and Twinkies and beans and...

"Hey Ma, I found my TV," shouted a portly lad of 12 and Alfred awoke still giggling just like he did from lots of funny dreams. He looked around and wandered off in search of more interesting tourists, exotic foods and good dreams of which he had many.