Alfred Gnu: Three is Company Too

Alfred Gnu: Three is Company Too
by
Robin Hall


Most people in the world have sayings, slogans, old wives or old husbands tales and the like such as: “A waist is a terrible thing to mind.”; “A pig in your day keeps the doctors away.”; “He had more dollars than sense.” and “Two’s a company, three’s a crowd.” Sometimes there is even a shred of truth to these homilies. Sometimes not.

Take the last one for instance. For that matter, consider Umar and Hattie as well. Umar and Hattie had been friends for a long while. About 34 years in human time we might say. Actually it was more like 7 years in lion and chimpanzee time and gets pretty hard to figure out really.

One day Umar, a young lion, was wandering around looking for food when he spotted Hattie, a young chimp caught in the roots of a tree where she had fallen. Now of course most lions would think, “LUNCH!” and so did Umar but when he approached Hattie, an odd thing happened as it sometimes does. Hattie’s cries softened Umar’s heart and made him think about the world differently. He became conscious. At the same time, Hattie was so terrified the same thing happened to her from the impending stress of being eaten. She also became conscious.

The two looked at each other, got very calm and thought for a while, which is a good thing when you have revelations like these two did. Whew, thinking is hard work! Umar looked at Hattie, walked slowly over to the tree and pulled the root that had trapped her. Hattie ran up the tree and looked down at Umar. Then she climbed back down and the two went to look for water. This thinking was hard and hot work and the unlikely pair were quite thirsty. And so it went.

Each day found new adventures for Umar and Hattie, new challenges. Umar learned to eat some of the fruits Hattie liked and also learned to hunt only the very old and sick animals out in the wild which was good for the herd as well. They would rest during the hot part of the day, look for water in the evening and travel at night. It was a good match really. Each had different skills, watering holes etc. that they knew about and they were never without the necessities of life.

Most evenings Umar would roar loudly to scare other lions away and just because it was fun. Hattie would climb tall trees to check to see if this strategy was working and find which direction they needed to go to avoid other big animals and to find food and water.

If they did see another big cat, Hattie would fluff up Umar’s mane to make him look as big as possible and jump on his back to add to the spectacle. It was a sight few lions were prepared to challenge.

Life was good for our very strange couple. Then one day...

Well, Alfred was not at all fond of lions as you might imagine. First of all, lions liked gnus, for dinner especially. Now not many lions hung around Alfred’s herd anymore since Alfred had showed the others how to protect themselves in a circle with several of the bigger gnus always on watch and facing inward. Actually no lions stayed around long. There were no stragglers and the gnu babies were well protected. Hyenas also found other herds to graze on.

Umar and Hattie were almost as interested in learning new things as Alfred and when they spotted his herd where all the animals watched out for each other, they were most curious and decided to hang around for a while. They noticed one particular gnu with two spots on his side who would take off during the day and check out tourist haunts.

They also noticed that there was lots of interesting leftover food at these tourist haunts. “Hmmm,” they thought. “Let’s go in for a look see.” Well, they had no sooner gotten near one of these tourist haunts when they heard shots which were uncomfortably close. Umar and Hattie took off running with Hattie holding on to Umar’s mane for dear life. It was quite a sight.

The pair then noticed Alfred hiding out in the bushes and decided to watch him. Of course Alfred was MUCH more experienced in these matters and waited till the tourists and mean old guides with their guns left. Then Alfred moved in for the feast of sandwiches, milk, candy and whatever else the tourists left.

Umar and Hattie approached cautiously. The tourists had left a bonanza that day and Alfred had eaten his fill when he saw the imposing pair coming in. Alfred took off, dancing and prancing like some of the other silly gnus did. Actually the behavior was aimed at confusing their predators and getting their adrenaline up in case they needed to run but not many folks knew this.

Alfred was bouncing around and watching Umar and Hattie very closely. He had seen the pair for about a week now and knew something was unusual here. First off, lions and chimpanzees were enemies but these two were friends. Second, Umar didn’t look stupid like some lions did and Hattie WAS riding on his back.

Alfred’s curiosity got the best of him and he approached slowly and cautiously. Umar roared and Hattie jumped up and down but that was it. Then they all got down to the leftover food and sat around enjoying the sun when they were full. It was a great day.

The next morning, Umar and Hattie walked over to Alfred’s herd. Well, the herd circled up like they were supposed to and what was a lion doing out so early anyway and what in the world was that chimpanzee up to they might have wondered if they had the brains. Alfred wandered out slowly and trotted after the pair when they moved away for some new leftover treats from the tourists. The three had another great day foraging together.

That night when Alfred rejoined the herd, Umar and Hattie went off for a while then came back and sang to the herd as best they could. I suppose a lion’s roar and a chimp’s screamings were not exactly melodic but they did keep other predator’s away and the herd got used to their new protectors after a while.

Most days Alfred and his new friends would have adventures, listen to the BBC from the bushes near tourist haunts when they were there and eat leftovers when they left. It was great.

Sometimes Umar and Hattie would be gone for days but would always rejoin their new friend Alfred Gnu. You see, three’s a company too just like four or five can be if we want. We can have lots of friends of all sorts and still be ourselves too. Keep an eye open. New friends just might be looking for YOU.